Wednesday, April 27, 2011

If You're An Alpha Male, You Really Should Love George R.R. Martin

George R.R. Martin is the alpha male's version of Stephenie Meyer. For every sparkly vampire there's a woman on her knees getting it doggy style. For every sigh and stare, there's blood and monsters. There's enough conniving women to fill roles for a reboot of Dynasty.

I love the Game of Thrones on HBO. That being said, I was re-reading portions of it the other day that have been at the root of several discussions with my friend James on the phone (he worships at the pen of the mighty George). It went something along the lines of my usual take on Mr. Martin, which I think has merit, despite the fact that the overall consensus from most men is that George R.R. Martin is a genius (and therefore his work is irrefuteable).  So here I am...laying it out there for you to examine with a bit of his colorful prose:
"When she was clean, the slaves helped her from the water and toweled her dry. The girl brushed her hair until it shone like molten silver, while the old woman anointed her with the spiceflower perfume of the Dothraki plains, a dab on each wrist, behind her ears, on the tips of her breasts, and one last one, cool on her lips, down there between her legs."
                  -- page 32

I especially liked how he described it being cool on the lips...almost as if he'd experienced it himself. So imaginative.  You know...I'm gonna say it...there really is a huge double-standard here. If the storyline was the same and the characters essentially the same but instead of an underage girl, it was an underage boy, having his anus annointed for the Dothraki Chieftan Khal Drogo...this would be unpublishable. Not only that, but people would shout, "PERVERT!!!" No one would say, "Oh this is just sooo amazing and sure there's the part with the boy getting it up the ass but that's all explained in the world-building etc. I mean there's no author intent there at all...what a genius."
"Her loins still ached from the urgency of his lovemaking. It was a good ache. She could feel his seed within her. She prayed that it might quicken there."
                 -- page 59

Hmmm. I always wondered what you women were thinking about after a good roll in the hay? Oh boy...did George nail it or what?!? Let's be honest now, you ladies out there...when you were finished with your husbands and boyfriends or whomever, you too (like Catelyn) lay in your beds with your furs to your chins and prayed for a quickening, right?

This is George. He writes books for alpha males
and those that like alpha males.
Game of Thrones is an epic fantasy and I do like it. But you know, it does redefine the word fantasy as I came to know it. For example...there's the fantasy of Tolkien which we all know about...and then there's the fantasy of the sexually repressed man, right? But Game of Thrones manages to be both and I think therein lies its brilliance and appeal to men.

I love you George. Every alpha male guy in the world needs to read your books and maybe after that go hunting, fishing, and eat some red meat right off the bone while pounding his chest.

I salute you! hee hee


  1. I think it's more for Beta Males who are at home reading or watching TV instead of getting laid like the Alpha Males.

    And I think you're right about the double standard. Gay sex between men is still "icky" while lesbian sex is "hot". It's a funny old world sometimes.

  2. Great post, but I definitely agree with Mutt. It seems Game of Thrones is designed to entice those who wish to be alpha males. In no way does that decrease the awesomeness of what Martin does, but it does in some ways temper it.

    I definitely need to watch the series though.

  3. Mutt: I think you're right. I knew I was onto something but you put your finger right on it by voicing that it's for the beta males and not the alphas. The story glorifies the alpha conquests afterall. I see this as the unvocalized desire of every beta male out there that feels emasculated by today's society and the empowerment of women.

    CBame13: Thank you for visiting my blog. I appreciate it :) Don't get me wrong either...I enjoy watching Game of Thrones and I'm re-reading the books and getting more the second-time through than I did the first time. They're male chauvinist and sexist as all get but enjoyable. I think to myself...the man is awesome that he can get away with this stuff.

  4. While there may indeed be a societal double-standard there, I think people need to be careful at putting a modern spin on things are viewed in a setting that flat-out isn't modern. I'm not saying that a girl would be thinking what he had her thinking there, but it isn't implausable given the differing roles of such times.

  5. I admit that I haven't read Game of Thrones, hearing of the HBO series peaked my interest to do so, but having read this discourse and the Martin passages above, my interest is now waning.

  6. I don't think it's any more chauvanistic than say Goodfellas or Godfather movies, but it feels alot more melodramatic and soap opera-esque to me. Lots of glaring and people storming in and out.

    The dialogue is kind of predictable for this sort of genre and I've yet to hear a memorable line. The only one with a sense of that so far is the dwarf but he hasn't really had the lines to really blow the lid off that character.

    Moody Writing

  7. My wife read the books before I did and she enjoyed them as much as she enjoys any fantasy, which is to say, a lot. I think Martin creates such a believable world that the sex (and violence and incest) isn't disturbing, despite the fact that in the real world it would bother us. But you're still right. Simply put, it's written for men.

  8. Wait this is a book meant for guys but he's spending how much time just talking about where she's applying perfume? OOOOOOOOOOooooook.

    If I want to read something meant for Guys I'll take something that is blood, explosions, violence and pithy dialog. Jerry Pournelle come to think of it. Mmm CoDominium-verse.

  9. Weeell, women love this series too, me included :P So maybe we want to be alpha males too!

  10. This is exactly why I have a hard time with adult fantasy.

  11. The last 3 shows I've watched on the pay TV have been Spartacus, Camelot and Game of Thrones. It seems like each of these shows has at least one very explicit sex scene in every episode and at some point on Sunday night it made me think ... do the producers think so little of us that they just fill the screen with sex and blood knowing we will watch like a bunch of sheep? As I considered this a 14 year old virgin bride came on screen and decided she no longer wanted to be taken doggy style but instead wanted to be on top like a proper princess. It was at that point I lost my train of thought and watched the rest of the show.

    On a somewhat related note, did you know the guy that plays Viserys Targaryen (brother of the virgin princess) is the great-great-great grandson of Charles Dickens?

  12. Thanks for the trivia Kev. I had no idea that the actor was related to Charles Dickens.

  13. I have to say, Mike, I've disagreed with you on some of your aSoIaF posts, but not this one. I completely agree that most of Martin's writing, and especially his ambiguous characters like Tyrion is/are some of the best I've ever read, but the graphic sex, incest, rape, and so on often feels like it's there for no reason other than titillation.

    I don't find it out of character, so much, as I just find it unnecessary.

  14. what the bookends, matt and mutt, said...

    have not read the books, and don't own a tv... guess i'm sol, til i find the books - or dvd, so i can play it on my computer....