Monday, September 13, 2021

There's a strange phenomenon of people with liberal values arguing for themselves and others to be okay with toxic abuse.

I've been noticing something lately on Facebook. Some of my liberal friends are putting up posts that say something similar to the following: "I care a lot that they (conservatives) get mad [at being targeted by business and people for their anti-vax stance]. I care about anger because mad customers who are directly adjacent to customer service workers quickly become threatening...Airline mask mandates while very sensible do mean stewardesses [they live in Idaho so forgive them if they don't know that this term is now outdated and should be replaced with 'flight attendant'] get assaulted. Healthcare workers routinely get assaulted...retail workers were literally shot and stabbed for informing customers that stores had mask mandates...." And the post goes on and on. The point is that this person (with liberal values) is arguing that others who are liberals should not do anything to antagonize angry conservatives and (for lack of better words) live with being abused.

Of course they use their education to draw upon words that sound specious in their goodness. They craft sentences like: "We have a growing cultural belief that it's okay to withdraw kindness or even start to be rude or threatening if you are the victim [the victim being the retail worker]." And then they go on to justify an argument that, "This is not okay because these angry people are human beings!"

Honestly...this argument that I see more and more from good-minded people is laughable nonsense. However, its a phenomenon that I'm seeing more and more as fear-driven liberals shaking in their boots are scared and traumatized by putting up what is (honestly) a healthy boundary. I have tons of boundaries, and I'm willing to defend all of them with extreme violence if necessary. Anyone that violates them beware. But as long as people respect those boundaries, I'm the recipient (literally) of "the kindness award."

At this point in my life (having just turned 50) I can honestly say that I'm as stress-free and filled with joy as I have ever been. It's a glorious time to be alive, and I appreciate every day I am given. But I didn't get here by just being lucky. I got here through years and years of efforts to decode the abuse I suffered from conservative bullies and living a lifetime in Idaho (the abuse did not come from family; it literally came from "friends"). Once I realized that I had been a victim of systemic gaslighting, bullying, dehumanizing, and narcissistic trauma at the hands of grotesque abusers that operated and played at game shops in Idaho (a place that should be a safe haven for nerds) and by employers who sailed upon the wings of LDS righteousness...I began to pity all of those people. I was able to let go of my hate and anger and see them for what they were. They are so systemically abused and filled with a lifetime of trauma from neighbors, friends, and employers who treated them like crap (little better than slaves in cotton fields), that their hearts are just filled with jealousy, hatred, and paranoia. Putting up boundaries against those people is the healthiest thing I ever did.

You might say, "Those people need help. They are mentally ill." Well...that's the rub now, isn't it? They do need help...but you cannot ever help the unwilling. They don't believe they are mentally ill. They continue to live within a web of complete delusion and they are so abused that they believe that their abuse actually counts as life experience, and that they are doing everyone a favor by abusing someone else so that they can walk the path that they had to walk to get to "Loserville." Idaho is some kinda mind trip I will tell ya. I lived there for 36 years, but I've only now come to know and see it for what it is. 

Anyway, it boggles my mind that people who may share my political values are so close to the fire that they don't see that boundaries are good. They are so afraid of losing whatever it is they have that they are literally begging people to not anger the conservatives anymore. "Get your vaccine if you have to...but please don't force others. They will get violent. You don't understand." It's like listening to an abused woman living in a house with a man that beats her every single night. "Please...I beg you...don't make my husband angry. He will beat me. He will beat our children. He's thrown my baby down the stairs. I beg don't know what he's like!"

Is this what society is coming to? The liberal cowering on the ground and the conservative
holding the belt screaming, "Don't you dare force that vaccine on me! Do you hear me?! DO

And my answer: "Actually, I do know what that's like. There's only one language that this kind of person understands, and I speak it well. So do others. You will be way better off putting up healthy boundaries. We can show you how to do this. There are worse things in life than death. Repeatedly having your boundaries violated without your consent is wrong, and it is one of those things."


  1. Before I read your article, Republican politicians were on the news saying that Biden shouldn't force Federal employees to get vaccinated because that won't make the holdouts trust the vaccine, which just seems like a variation on what you're talking about, making excuses for assholes to be assholes.

    Besides forcing them, I'm not sure what you can do. In Michigan we've tried reasoning by doctors, scientists, and paramedics; pleading by politicians, athletes, and religious leaders; and even bribing with gift cards, Tigers tickets, and a lottery and yet the vaccine numbers barely go up. Besides forcing them, I'm not sure what else you can do at this point.

    These are the same people who a year ago blathered about "herd immunity" when it meant doing nothing. Now that "herd immunity" means actually doing something, they're not into it anymore. SMH.

  2. I've believed for a long time that we are well past the time when something needs to be done about conservatives and conservativism. There is no reasoning with them or finding common ground, and we are letting them kill the planet and kill people while we stand by with all of our handwringing and trying to "use our words."

  3. If you give them an inch, they'll take a mile. We've got a recall election here in CA tomorrow (well, I mailed my ballot in a month ago) because these conservatives don't like it when the liberals are in charge. Yes, they claim that there are things Newsom did... Sigh.

    I get being non-confrontational. I don't like to fight. And arguing with them isn't worth the effort. But coddling them... This is why I'm not a Democrat. Because this always happens. The Dems don't fight at times like this, when they should be fighting the assholes who are acting like they're so put upon (when they're not).

  4. I know a lot of conservatives who got the vaccine, and oddly I've never been attacked by one. They actually wear masks too. I consider myself to be independent, and I see both sides. I don't like the idea of forcing people because they are afraid of it for whatever reason. However, I have a hard time understanding it. To me, the Covid virus is much more scary. Also, I know some people who won't get the vaccine yet, and they have no interest in politics. They don't even vote. They are young and perhaps feel invincible.