Monday, January 2, 2012

Starting off 2012 with a Blog Award

Well I'm black from my blogger vacation, and to start things off I'm doing some housekeeping on some awards that I know you people are just dying to be infected with (and then spread them to your cohorts).

First off is the Smart Cookie Award.
I received this from the Blogger Girlz (Thank you Blogger Girlz!)

Here are the rules. They should look eerily familiar to many of you that pass these along:
  1. Thank the award giver and link back to them in your post. This is par for the course for all of these things.
  2. Share 4 little known facts on anything.
  3. Pass this on to other "smart cookies" you may know.
The facts I choose to talk about all relate to me:
  1. It took me two years to write my book that is being published in May. I'm a slow ass writer, and I don't care if that is a point of condescension for other writers to look down their nose at me. I have a day job, and there are many many days where I feel like writing nothing at all.
  2. I change the title after my name to silly things because I think that people who have their name and "comma 'Author'" are being pretentious. Anyone can string words together and publish them. So anyone can be an author. The next title I plan on using is "Evolved Monkey" unless someone steals it first.
  3. It seems to be easier for me to be real life friends with single women over 30 than it is with single women under 30. The under 30 crowd that "happens" to be single for whatever reason (yes they do exist) only wants to talk about their exes or talk about what they want in their next boyfriend. The single women over 30 will talk about books, movies, and be content watching television that we both enjoy while drinking tea.  Not once will they check their Facebook.
  4. The men I know are only interested in hanging out when they are single or extremely tired of their relationships and don't want to bite the horrible bullet and just end it (yes the men I know in this position are cowards plain and simple). If the target man I want to go to a movie with is in a relationship, planning to hang out for even a couple of hours has to have the approval of the other half (who secretly more often than not could give a shit), must be done well in advance (his rules not hers), and is only done so once they have checked with the other half to see if anything has been planned (again the man's rules not hers). This is not the same for women. Women I know that are in a relationship will always hang out at the drop of a hat as long as I'm paying. It just takes one phone call.  The only conclusion I've been able to gather from this in the years I've walked the earth is that many men overestimate their importance and impact that they have on their women. This condition is called "pussy whipped" and it is invented by men and not women. In other words, women don't pussy whip men. Men pussy whip themselves. It's really kind of pathetic.
The Smart Cookies:
  1. Mr. Briane Pagel at his blog, Thinking the Lions.
  2. Ms. Steph Schmidt at her blog The Non-Sequitur Ramblings. Honestly, she needs a break from all that painting that she does.
  3. Andrew Leon at his blog StrangePegs, because I'm tired of reading about his dog.
  4. Cindy Borgne over at her blog Dreamer's Perch, because I know she'll give us four facts about Mars, and I like reading about Mars.
  5. Brooke R. Busse because my New Year's Resolution is to pass to Brooke every blog award that I'm fortunate enough to receive from the very giving blogosphere.
I received the great comment award from book blogger, editor, writer, superwoman...Cherie Reich. She passed this award to the last twenty commenters on her blog, and I happened to be one of the lucky recipients. I feel so blessed. In return, I am passing it onto any of you who use any form of "Congratulations" in your comment on today's post. You too, ladies and gentlemen, will be obligated to post a blog that links back to this and thank me for the kindness I have in extending an award to you. How do you like them apples?

Have a happy Monday. :))


  1. Holy crap, I'm laughing so hard at your facts, but especially number 4. And I like the tag Evolved Monkey. :)

    Oh! And wahoo and yipee and all those other things that go in the form of congratulating you for being such a smart and savvy cookie who leaves great comments. :)

  2. Thanks Cassie. It arose from frustration with some of my male friends that I consider "peers".

  3. Happy New Year! Congrats on the awards. I'm right there with you on numero uno. I wish I could be a little faster, but it's just not how I roll. :D

  4. I find #3 and #4 very interesting. I've always thought that male friends were much less complicated than female ones. That, of course, is not what you are talking about. I've been married for so long that I'm sure I'm out of touch with the dynamics of being single.

  5. I'm a slow writer too (often imagining I feel the scorn of NaNo'ers who can write 3,000 words a day)., well done on your awards, and Happy New Year, Evolved Monkey.

  6. Congrats on the awards and Happy New Year.

    Those are interesting facts, especially #3 and #4.

    I just looked in your sidebar to see the tag after your name. That's a good one. :)

  7. I will say congratulations although I've received that award many, many times. And don't worry, I'm a slow writer as well. Good thing I'm not making a career out of this.

  8. Thanks for the award. I will have to get started on those Mars facts ASAP. Congratulations on all your writing and blogging success. Now I must bookmark this post, so I can keep track of all the requirements for the awards (not that there are too many).

    Have a great day. :)

  9. Me again. I just noticed the new banner. Wow...I love it!!!

  10. Evolved Monkey is great. And that's fantastic about the awards. There are worse ways to enter the new year.

  11. Congratulations on getting both the awards. You certainly deserve them.

  12. Smart cookie award ... now all you need is some kind of milk award to dunk it in. Happy New Year to you and yours!

  13. Congra...ha ha, made you look! Someone gave that to me and I was like, "Um, I don't think I have 20 people who comment on my posts."

  14. Two years to write your book isn't bad at all. Obviously you did something write. : )
    Happy new year, Michael. Here's hoping 2012 kicks ass for you.

  15. @Cheryl: Ooo you got tagged for the commenter award thingy. I shall expect you to blog about it ASAP.

    @Brinda: Men are only less complicated in the sense that they prefer less material goods to be satisfied. You will not see a man pushing a cart through Wal-Mart and addressing the baby in the cart with, "We need you to learn how to walk because you're taking up precious cart space." That is what a woman would say, which is why it is in the Wal-Mart commercial. Additionally, men build their relationships through proximity whereas women require intimacy (sharing of details, etc.). To be a man's friend, you just have to be present for a while. That's one big reason men cheat. A woman that wants to screw their brains out hangs out with them all of the time (like at work). Years of that compound and bam...cheating with co-worker happens...leaving the wife at home asking in wonder 'how did that happen?'

    @L.G. Not Evolved Monkey yet. I'm a Visitor from the Future. And no I shall not supply you with winning lotto numbers.

    @Medeia: Thank you. You have also been tagged because you "congrats" me.

    @Alex: I think you're pretty fast.

    @Cindy: Thank you for liking it. I wanted a change for 2012. The wolf eyes was so 2011 Christmas/winter. It's been warm here...unseasonably so...and I'm thinking of spring already.

    @Cherie: I will award you miss Cherie as often as I can. I want you too to share in the awarding.

    @Munir: Aww thank you Munir.

    @Stephen: I think there's a milk award out there.

    @Grumpy: Oh you're so devilishly clever.

    @Emily: I see whut you did thar.

  16. Happy New Year, Mike. It's better to be slow than sorry. Took me only a few months to write my first book and then nearly five years to get it edited just right. There's a lesson in there somewhere. :) Love the color on the blog an that quote in the masthead is the stuff that creepy's made of.

  17. Hehehehe I was wondering where the titles after your name come from.

    And yes, men trying to prevent that women are "whipping" them really annoy me. Of course, I have met women who really do pussy whip their men, but that's still pathetic, that men would allow it.

  18. I think "leaky bag of mostly water" should be someone's title. But I'm not to the point of adding a title, yet.

    Tired of hearing about my dog! Bah!
    Besides, the last post about the dog wasn't -about- the dog, the dog was just the vehicle ti talk about the tree.

    The next pot will not be about the dog or about walking the dog.

  19. I am a fast writer, sloooow reviser, so I guess in the end it all evens out. Evolved monkey you say - that is fantastic!

    Happy new year and congrats on the blog award.

  20. Love your new header!

    You know, I've noticed through the years that I've always been better at relationships with guys than girls. I think, for me, it's because I've never been into the girly stuff. And by that I mean: all the attention for me; endless conversations about calories, makeup, and clothes; more attention for me; and backstabbing gossip that cuts others down in order for me to look better; and BFF's - why can't we just all be friends?

  21. Congrats on all your awards. I love number four too. Pussy-whipped men drive me nuts. What happened to real men?

    Anyways...Is that a new header? Love it!

  22. Congrats on the award Michael! And I love your list. lol. Seriously - the honesty is great! Have a Happy New Year!

  23. Hi Michael, I was just honored to receive the Great Comments Award from the fabulous Shelly at The Life of a Novice Writer blogspot--so congratulations to both of us as we evolve!! LOL

  24. ...don't sweat it, Michael. I'm a slow writer/procrastinator myself. Us writers tend to be unique in our dissimilarities, wouldn't you agree?

    Happy New Year, my friend.


  25. I like your updated blog -- the header with the line from your upcoming novel is awesome. Gets me excited about reading it. Congrats on your awards. Well deserved.

    Happy 2012!

  26. I think one reason a woman can go out at the drop of a hat is that most husbands don't want to go out. That is just generally speaking. Most of the women I know have this experience in their marriage.

    I don't think two years is a long time to write a novel. I'm glad you find women over 30 interesting.

    Yeah, I understand why men check with their wives. The wives know when the family gatherings are happening and birthday parties, and cocktail parties etc. He probably double booked once and caught hell.

  27. Well done - it's the new year and already you have two awards...:)

  28. Love the new banner Michael! It got me thinking about the banner I am going to use for the New Year. It won't be like yours but I had been thinking of snowy mountain tops but I'd rather do something connected to writing. We'll see.

    Awards well deserved! and interesting facts along with them. (btw: I write like a snail and wish I could get a project done in 2 years.)

  29. @J.L.: Creepy eh? Well it's a line from my book. It's science-fiction but does not take place in space. Rather, in a dystopian city/urban setting as in the banner head. And yes, there are monsters in it.

    @Misha: You must be drenched in sunshine. Just seeing your comment here has given me a tan.

    @Andrew: I look forward to reading it.

    @Trisha: Thank you. Happy New Year to you as well.

    @Julie: Thank you. I would like to be your friend. Want to go to coffee? O.o

    @Clarissa: Thank you sista.

    @Leigh: New haircut? Me likey.

    @Desert: I know. We are so fortunate, right?

    @Elliot: I agree sir.

    @M Pax: I've had some compliments on it today. I guess that means my writing is okay as that's just a line that I plucked from it. If people like it, then I have to have some street cred as a writer. Maybe? Seriously? Hrrmmmm. Come to think of it, if an agent saw it they'd probably say, "Form rejection. You didn't grab me in the sentence and your voice is terrible."

    @Belle: Ding Ding. You are so right Belle. Again, I love your wisdom.

    @TF: I'm an overachiever. I just go around and collect awards. I'm just that amazing.

    @Danette: "Write like a snail" is an awkward metaphor because snails don't write. Same goes for "sweats like a pig" since pigs don't sweat. I think you mean "I write with the speed of a snail." Since snails are not very fast. Although comparatively in the animal kingdom for size, they are probably about average depending upon species.

  30. The new banner and colors were a nice surprise, Michael.

    Now I really have to write an award post. I have like... four?

  31. I LOVE that graphic on the header!! Wowzers.

    Now, about men not going out. I've observed this in only the one male: the one I'm married to. I've seen him turn down friend-hangout-requests by saying he wants to hang out with his sweetie (i.e. me). He'll then carry on doing whatever regular thing he wants to do (i.e. play video games.) I think he uses me as an excuse to just stay home and not expend the energy doing whatever thing the friends want to do.

    I know there are some husbands who are not "allowed" to go out, and I do feel sorry for those ones, but I'll bet more often it's simply not wanting to go out ... because it's raining, or there's a new video game.

  32. Your blog looks great! Love the new banner. It's awesome! And thanks for sharing your list of facts! I especially love number 2, since I notice when you change your title and think it's hilarious. ;)

  33. OK, I used to work with a bunch of guys - totally platonic except for the thing with my now husband. Imagine a married man trying to get the OK to hang out or go to a movie or get a drink with a divorced woman who is seriously just a friend....

  34. Slower only means it's more polished and will be a better read once it is released.
    Congratulations on the award. All I have to say is if the girl expects you to pay, it better be a real date.

  35. Slower only means it's more polished and will be a better read once it is released.
    Congratulations on the award. All I have to say is if the girl expects you to pay, it better be a real date.

  36. I love the new banner, and the quote. Enjoy your awards :-)

  37. Your new banner is awesome... Wow.

  38. I've been enjoying the titles after your name. They're fun.

    Love the rest of your facts too. As an FYI, it's taken me a lot longer than two years to get my story written so you can't possibly be that slow of a writer.

    Happy New Year.

  39. Congrats on your awards Michael.

    Yeah, I am glad to be old and married as trying to get to know someone who is obsessed over posting their status would be frustrating.

  40. Congrats on the awards, you deserve them!

    Hey about writers in SLC, have you heard of the League of Utah Writers? Just in case here is their website. THey have chapters, that get together and critique each others work.

    Or my friend Trevor Green, at

    He lives in SLC and has a group, you might want to contact him. I live in Northern Utah, so everything I do is up here.

  41. I'm a slow reader and slow writer. And I have lots of days I don't feel like doing either.

    I'll say congratulations on the commenter award, but I received it recently from someone and even forgot to post it. I'm so bad . .

    I like your quote on the heading. I'm about 5 chapters into Slipstream and haven't seen it yet. Its so cool.


  42. Congratulations on the award!
    And Happy... er, what was I saying? Sorry, got distracted by that Merlin poster...

  43. I'm happy to hear someone admit that it actually took time/effort to write a book. I keep seeing posts where people brag about writing books in crazy amounts of time (I just heard someone saying they wrote an entire (award-winning) novel in 72 hours.) It's like some bizarre competition with writers. Do none of these people have lifes? Eh, maybe I'm just jealous.