Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twitter. Show all posts

Monday, December 9, 2013

Stephen King's second tweet basically sums up all the #FAIL of twitter

Stephen King's second tweet basically sums up all the #FAIL of twitter. How on earth this social network is worth $40 billion and yet can't turn a profit is something I'll never be able to understand. 
I think every single one of us has felt this at some point unless of course you're on twitter to spam people to read your blog or to buy your book. I think with this single tweet, Stephen King finally earned me as a fan because having something worthy to say is where nearly all of us fall short.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Writers 4 Writers is featuring me today.

Today, Writers4Writers is featuring me and Nick Wilford. In case you are unaware of Writers4Writers, it is an initiative to promote authors and their books by harnessing the power of Twitter. It congregates the third Monday of every month to promote 1-3 authors. I got the email from Mary that said it was this Monday, however, so they must have just decided to do it a week early. It's all good even if there's some confusion.

If you have time, please visit the Hosts of this marketing brainchild. They are Mary Pax, Christine Rains, C.M. Brown, and Stephen Tremp.

So, if you are here for Writers4Writers, I first want to say thank you for helping to promote my book. Just copy and paste any tweet from below and send it off into the twitterverse:

*****

Read a sample from Michael Offutt's "Slipstream." It's a sci-fi pulse pounding adventure. #YAOI #W4WS http://slckismet.blogspot.com/p/an-excerpt-from-slipstream.html

"Last night I died for the third time this week," the 17-year-old boy said. Read "Slipstream" on Kindle. #YAOI #W4WS http://www.amazon.com/Slipstream-Michael-Offutt-ebook/dp/B007R5DN8W/ref=tf_ssw?&linkCode=wss&tag=michoffu09-20

Download the free short story that starts A Crisis of Two Worlds. #W4WS http://www.amazon.com/The-Insanity-Zero-Michael-Offutt-ebook/dp/B009JF15FQ/ref=tf_ssw?&linkCode=wss&tag=michoffu09-20


*****

Thanks again to all the Writers4Writers promoters and organizers. This is a great program that benefits everyone. I encourage those of you who follow my blog who have not signed up, to go and visit Stephen's website now and fix that.
Because it's Veteran's Day, I also want to send a big thank you to every veteran out there. You have my profound respect, and please remember to go by your friendly neighborhood Texas Roadhouse sometime today and get your free lunch. The program is nationwide. Get some baked beans, cornbread, and fall-off-the-bone ribs. Mmmm.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Are you going to buy into the twitter IPO

Disclaimer: I invest in the stock market. All of this is my own opinion. But I think it's relevant as most of you use Twitter.
The Facebook IPO started out at $38 and then tanked below $20
for a year. Will twitter do the same thing, or will it be the goose that
lay the golden egg? What do you think?
For those of you who don't trade stock, IPO stands for "Initial Public Offering" and is the day a stock "debuts" on one of the exchanges like the Nasdaq or the S&P 500. I leave the Dow out because the Dow Jones Industrial Average consists only of 30 stocks and they are notoriously selective on which stock is on their roster. To date, GE is the only company that belonged to the original Dow when it was first established. All others have been cast out. Just this week aluminum manufacturer Alcoa, tech giant Hewlett Packard, and Bank of America were thrown out/replaced by Goldman Sachs, Nike, and Visa (Wall Street considers Visa a tech company because they use technology to process payments).
This ticker should say "30 stocks out of thousands are surging."
So whenever you hear the radio announce that the "Dow is up 100 points" or the "Dow is down 140 points", they are saying that 30 stocks out of thousands and thousands of companies in the U.S. are having a good/bad day. I usually roll my eyes and say to myself, "I could care less about the Dow. What's the Nasdaq or the S&P doing?" but I usually have to go online for that information. The Dow gets all the news.

Anyway, there's been a variety of IPO's that have soared this year. We had Noodles & Company (NDLS) that started out at $18 a share and doubled to $36 by the end of the day. Sprouts Farmer's Market (SFM) pretty much followed that same path. But I've had my eye on some that haven't gone public yet. It's a short list of companies that I'd like to try to get in on some of the early gravy although the odds are clearly stacked against me as I have no outside connections and am just a long term investor.

Presently, I own POAGX (run by Primecap) as a mutual fund mostly represented by Nasdaq equities, I own Ford (F) Motor Company (I believe in America), and I own Texas Roadhouse (TXRH-I was persuaded by the difficulty of finding a spot in their parking lot on a Friday night). I want to balance my portfolio a little better by the end of the year by either picking up a financial (Goldman), an entertainment (Lions Gate Films), a retail (Express), or a tech company (Twitter or Square sounds frickin awesome).

With the news that Twitter has filed an S-1 with lead underwriter Goldman Sachs, my interest was piqued. A date hasn't been set, but it'll probably come by Christmas. That's just in time for me to have enough money together to buy a block of shares (100), provided they are reasonably priced. Unlike Facebook, Twitter doesn't make much money. According to the news, they generate somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 million (this compared to Facebook's $10 billion). I never bought into Facebook, because I don't like it (I'm glad I didn't because their stock tanked for a year). But Twitter's a little different. I like the whole instant message feel to it and enjoy communicating with my friends and followers over Twitter. And it fills my need for a balanced portfolio by giving me a tech stock!

So I'm asking you guys out there if you are planning on buying some Twitter stock once it goes public.

If you are interested in the other initial public offerings that I have my eye on (I google them once a day to see if there's any news) here's my very very short list:
The idea behind square is absolute brilliance. Too bad there's already
copycats taking away their market share. I guess that's capitalism.
1) Square. Square makes those little white boxes you've been seeing everywhere on iPhones, iPads, and iPods that are used to take credit card payments. The idea is simple and brilliant. That's a winning strategy in my book.

2) Smashburger. Every time my friend James comes into town, he sends me a message on my iPhone that reads "Meet me at Smash." That's how much he enjoys the taste of their burgers.Their books, however, have a story that makes me salivate. 30% growth to date and a market analysis that says the U.S. could support 8000 of their restaurants.
3) Uber. On demand driver application startup called "Uber" appeals to all the millennials. In my opinion, millennials are the most entitled, spoiled rotten generation to ever walk the earth. So naturally an application that allows them to spend twice as much as a regular taxi but comes to their location in a super comfy black luxury vehicle has to be a winner. I want to own some of this company. I was so impressed by the snobbiness of Uber that I even have it featured in my book Caledfwlch (which is filled with lots of rich snobby things like Ivy League college students wearing designer clothes and ordering limousines with their smartphones). As a side note, I even feature a video game machine that cost $40,000 and looks like an egg. Seriously, if we're going to talk about how large the 1% live we might as well go far beyond Sub-zero refrigerators and Wolf appliances, right?
The name of this super-pretentious video game pod for spoiled children is "Oculas."
The price tag will kill you though. But who cares if you're a billionaire or a crook.
I guess in our country those two things are synonymous.
By the way, if you are looking for someone to talk stocks or investments with, I welcome those kinds of conversations. I read Barrons, CNBC, the Motley Fool, Seeking Alpha, and the Yahoo Finance pages as well as watch Jim Cramer on Mad Money every day of the week. I'm also not rich. I'm just trying to take the meager money I manage to scrape together and invest it wisely in things that I think will outperform my savings account interest rate (as should you).

Friday, August 12, 2011

A Story of Best Friends...

ONLY BEST FRIENDS...
Greet you like...
Wave to you across the room like...
Do "creeper" things with you like...
Dance with you like...
Chill out with you like...
Eat with you like...
Sing with you like...
Be emotional with you like...
And be somewhat loving like...

Random Friday squee: I totally got tweeted by Neil Gaiman on Thursday. I was kinda in shock about it and had this surreal moment where I was Frodo Baggins who attracted the Eye of Sauron for just an instance...only this was a good thing.  I could see Mr. Gaiman doing whatever it is that he does, selecting to mention @MichaelOffutt back and then respond to me asking whether or not him following 666 followers was coincidental or intentional. 1.9 million followers and I was the voice he heard. /takes a bow.

More Random Friday squee...the blond boy in this picture is TOTALLY my protagonist in my sci-fi book.  He's cute, don't you think?  He's not really of course...but I live in a warped sense of reality where I make shit up all the time.  How about I say...I'd like him to be...yeah...that would do :)

More More Random Friday squee...my birthday is tomorrow. I'm so excited. And tonight I get to go to Cafe Madrid with my brother...mmm yumm. 

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Wheaton Paradigm As Applied To Twitter--Sheldon Would Be So Proud


BAZINGAAAAA!!!


I hope you watched the premiere of George R.R. Martin's "Game of Thrones" last night on HBO. It was really good but if you missed it, you can probably catch it again sometime soon. That being said, comment if you really liked the series :).

Hee hee Happy Monday my friends. This is gonna be an amazing week :) Spring is finally here, flowers are growing, and warm air and sunshine have decided to appear.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Twitterpation Nation--Twitter Part Two


Here you can see the two frontal lobes I'm
speaking of as they hypnotize America and
bolster her impressive thinking skills.
Don't you wish the hemispheres of your
brain were as tan and symmetrical?
I think I have frontal lobe envy.
Sn00ki is the kind of smart that America appreciates.

She knows nothing of Thoreau, organic chemistry, math, physics, or life as a pale person, but she has charisma.  And because of that, she's got money...lots of it. And in America's eye, money equals brains. She's a genius? Forget that Einstein person...what the hell did he know?  Oh and you won a frickin' Nobel prize...pfft...we want Sn00ki and will pay her more to speak to us (reference Rutgers University).

She didn't write her book. Who cares? It was a bestseller. Someone wrote it and slapped her poof on the cover. So I turned my nitwit mind that was given to me to understand such things as Lagrangian calculus to twitter to see if I could see how her large frontal lobes were somehow a force equal to the swarm of human locusts in colonizing America's "Shores" (C whut I did thar?)

Why did I pick Sn00ki? Because she's better than you...at twitter! That's right...she is.  And I'm saying knowing full well that no one with a substantial twitter following greater than Sn00ki shall ever read these words. 

Lesson One:
Snooki isn't just tweeting about shows she is going to be on. She also tweets about her everyday life, which is obviously more interesting than yours.

Lesson Two:

She tweets about her poof half the time. It's so firmly entrenched in her character that it has a frickin' life of its own. If Snooki's poof had written a book and it came down to you and the poof...believe me...the agent would take that poof and you'd get the rejection letter.

Lesson Three:
Do you note the carefully disguised transition used in this tweet from talking about Lady Gaga whom the whole world is interested in to nudging you to watch her on the red carpet?  It's so clever and funny, I'm beside myself that I could see through this.

Lesson Four:
She shows love to her Followers. "Tweedos"? Dr. Michio Kaku might ask.  I would have to stammer out an answer to the Carl Sagan of our generation.  It would go something like this, "No sir, it is not a quantum particle. It is an affectionate nickname and has more power than you babbling about math. No one cares about science sir." So come up with a nickname..."muffycakes" isn't taken. Neither is "tweekins".

Lesson Five:


She makes shout outs to her pals and compliments them. I've been on twitter for a few weeks now and have never gotten a shout out from my closest e-buddies on TWITTER, Steph Schmidt, Rogue Mutt, and Misha.  And not once has any of them complimented my firm, ample breasts! I'm so mortified.

So yeah...do I do any of these things? Nope. Hence my following of like...80. But I know the way, and I point it out for you so that you too can tweedazzle my foshizzle. Oh and in case you thought you were tweeting correctly, I offer up that the Bronx Zoo cobra got 75,000 followers in two days on its twitter and it doesn't even have arms, legs, or fingers to tweet with. My suggestion...set up twitter accounts for your make believe characters (the more outrageous...the better). Just look at the Dos Equis man.  His tweets include such wisdom as "He swam the Arctic Circle. He did the backstroke so he wouldn't get his cigar wet." Mutt, you seriously should tweet as the Scarlett Knight...I'm tellin' ya.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Me Me Me Me ~ Twitter Part One

Does Twitter breed narcissism? Do your eyes light up when you see a new blog comment, receive a new email, a new tweet, or a Facebook message? Some writers refer to this as validation. I say that's a euphemism for narcissistic personality disorder or NPD.

Think about why you follow people on Twitter. You want to know all about them, their lives, their thoughts...you want to know if they're going to lunch in a bookstore or if they'll post a photo of something you have never seen and get that intimate experience that only 900,000 other people can share at the same time. But it was meant for you lovelies...it was meant for you.

After categorizing 3,000 messages from 350 Twitter users in a recent study, professors at Rutgers University published a study that indicated the majority of updates on twitter are self-centered.  From the press release:
80 percent of regular users are "meformers," people who use the platform to post updates on their everyday activities, social lives, feelings, thoughts, and emotions. The remaining 20 percent--"informers"--share information, have larger social networks, and are more interactive with their followers.
Here's an article that goes more in-depth on the prevalence of Narcissistic Personality Disorder in the social media scene.
If you go to a big city tweetup or social media conference, you're almost guaranteed to meet a clique of NPD people and their minions engaged in an ego-stroking circle jerk.... The successful NPD person creates an intricate matrix of positive feedback in the form of fans, friends, followers, and partners who fulfill their endless needs. When the sources of these ego rewards (comments, accolades, retweets, speaking gigs) become unavailable or fail, the narcissist will experience intense feelings of emptiness.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating against using Twitter. On the contrary, I'm on Twitter and because of it, I knew breaking news the moment it happened. 1) Adam Lambert got kicked out of Lady Gaga's birthday party for trying to shove her face into her cake--I mean...damn!! 2) Bill Shatner is in New Zealand but failed to provide me a tweet of when he went to the bathroom 3) A famous YA author loves Tumblr 4) and another famous author compares herself to the powder puff girls and...wait for it...proclaims her frustrations on twitter that her bank put a limit on her debit card on how much she could spend in a day despite the fact that she has the money to cover it. 

I'm so inspired...Do you think that I could put the above design on a t-shirt? Everyone I know would have to have one. Of course, I'd expect you to buy it from me and wear it for me and tell me how much you love it and tweet me and message me and comment me...

Oh dear...

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