Thursday, December 15, 2011

Welcome to the Bah Humbug Blahg Fest by none other than Grumpy Bulldog

Today is my post for the Bah Humbug Blahg Fest created by my friend, Patrick Dilloway. It goes all day long and you still have time to enter if you haven't done so already. If you don't already follow Patrick, please visit his blog and click follow. Then, create your post answering the following question:

What are the 12 things I hate most about the holiday season?

Here are my answers:
1. Christmas music 24/7 on every radio station. It isn't so bad now that I live in a city, but boy when I lived in a small town with only three radio stations on FM this got really really old.

2. The bitter cold (it lasts six months). I live in the northern hemisphere and December is miserable. Additionally, where I live, there's always temperature inversions creating smog through the whole valley for weeks at a time. 
I'm not a fan of this.
3. Hazardous driving conditions. Snow and ice make for difficult driving.

4. No sunlight. On the night of the winter solstice there is more than 14-hours of darkness. That just sucks. Christmas is only a few days after that so it's almost the same. It seems like all I do is live in darkness.
5. Television consists of mostly reruns because its the period following the November sweeps.

6. That Thanksgiving and Christmas are so close together. In order to visit family for both vacations, it requires lots of time off, travel, and you have to turn around and do it again.

7. Finding an affordable gift for someone that already owns everything that is affordable and who has few activities that don't cost a lot of money. In other words, they don't read...haven't read a book ever. They just want to go on vacations, remodel the home, and scheme about ways to buy exclusive cars. Hard to get something under a hundred bucks when what they really want is granite countertops.

8. The celebrity Christmas album that everyone is talking about. I don't want to hear how Justin Bieber sings "Jingle Bells".
Sure he's posed here in the snow. In reality he's tanning under lime
trees in California because he too hates the cold.
9. Receiving a gag gift from a friend that thought you'd think it was funny when in truth, it's crap.

10. People who make a big deal out of Xmas versus Christmas.
Everyone loves Monopoly, right? The Community Chest card "XMAS FUND MATURES"
never got any complaints in any game I played. Why does this always pop up?
11. Inflatable yard decorations. I hate them. They're ugly and people keep them in their yard for too long and the wind deflates them and knocks them around.
I will always live in a neighborhood with an H.O.A. so I can report
people that let this go on too long. You would either love me as
a neighbor or absolutely hate me. I don't think there'd be an
in-between state.
12. Fattening sugary foods are everywhere. No matter where you turn, at the office someone has cookies, pies, cakes, rolls,'s ridiculous. They bring them to work to fatten up the co-workers so that their families don't get fat. And I have a love/hate relationship with food. I'm at my best when there is no temptation.
Christmas calories don't count. Yeah, right.

Before you leave I want you to know about one being run by Heather Arundel at her blog My Demon Spirits. In the contest, she wants you to write a holiday-themed story (it can be scary or whatever) that is 500 words or less, post it on your blog, comment on Heather's blog that you posted it and link back to it so she can see where it is, and then click "follow" on Heather's blog.

You can win a $25.00 Amazon Gift Card, a beautiful e-reader cozy, and a leather writing journal. The cozy's are done by Zizi Rho Designs by a lady that just happens to write and knit at the exact same time. You try pulling that one off.


  1. I love your ranty blahg fest entry here. Very fun to read! A lot of the stuff you rant about, I can rant about in reverse, i.e. horribly hot weather as opposed to cold, etc. ;)

  2. I can empathise with number 12. It's hard sticking to a diet with all these goodies around. I don't mind cold weather but I hate ice, I'm the one that always falls over.

  3. I can empathize with your list. I hate cold weather and am waiting for May. And about the present thing...I used to love finding the perfect gift for someone. This year, it seems like I've given up because I'm doing something I said I'd never do. I'm giving gift cards to most.

  4. I kind of like the snow up until December 26th and then I HATES it. January is always a funk month for me.

  5. Those are some good entries, but I'm sure Pagel will disagree with you about the inflatables given that he has four of them in his yard. LOL.

  6. Ha ha ha you are so funny Michael and as much as I LOVE chrimbo, some of your comments I can agree with lol ESPECIALLY Justin Bieiber......:)

  7. I decided that next year you're going to come visit me for Christmas.

    Then we'll go to the beach and complain because we got sunburn. ;-)

  8. Love this list!

    I'm not a big fan of the inflatables, although my kids love 'em. But when they're not inflated, they look like yard trash.

    People against X-mas obviously don't know the Greek alphabet.

    And I'd love to kick Justin Biebers jingle bells, if he even has them.

  9. This is great. I agree about christmas music. The chart seems pretty acurate to me. There are tons of garbage songs out there that I always change if it ever comes on!

    Inflatables are ok if you have like, one.

  10. Aw I love the cold...or when I get cozy from hiding from it. But I dig the blog post :)

  11. I can't help but laugh. You think of everything. I completely agree with numbers 1, 2 and 8. I try to ignore the rest - but could Beiber lose his voice or something. Seriously --- sick of him.

  12. I could have written this list! Where do I begin... Those stupid inflatable things. The only things that looks nice to me is lights. I HATE the cold. Christmas should be in January or February, not just to space it farther from Thanksgiving, but to have something to DO during all those cold months. It makes the next 2 months drearier once the lights go down and the decorations are gone. Yes, that Xmas/Christmas thing bugs me too. After a rash of posts about that on Facebook, I wrote, "Keep the Han in Hanukkah." I think Hanukkah could use Han Solo, don't you? (And if you spell Chanukah with a 'C', I think it means Chanukah gets Jackie Chan.)

    Happy Holidays!

  13. Yep, that Utah cold SUCKS. Hate it.

    And BLOWUP yard decorations drive my crazy. We have a guy in the neighborhood who has dozens and dozens of them. It's stupid. Looks trashy.

  14. Just say no to the cookies, man!
    There was a Bieber video before Arthur Christmas. It was awful. He ruined Christmas and steampunk forever in the span of four minutes.

  15. Great point about it being dark all the time. I forgot about that one.

  16. Yep. Your post is hilarious! Especially that pie chart on top.

    I swear Christmas cookies will be the end of me. :)

  17. I am so with you on the cold and dark this time of year -- makes me want to move to a tropical island. As for the Christmas music that's nonstop in stores for six weeks -- certainly I can't stand it, so I can't imagine what it does to the poor clerks who have to work with the kind of torture day in and day out.

  18. I hate those inflatable lawn horrors and the crappy music. I'm a snow lover. Maybe it's just my Canadian blood, but they don't get nearly enough down here where I live now.

  19. I'm playing Christmas music on Pandora through my cell phone right now (ALL DAY LONG)! My coworker to my right probably wants to make my phone disappear. The one on the left requests that I turn the music up. It's amusing!

    I cosign the cold weather, bad driving conditions and the long dreary days.

    Umm... I know who #7 is. GIFT CARD!

    Justin Bieber might suck; but John Legend has a nice Christmas album :p

    It's "The Holiday Season," silly goose.

    Last but not least, all Christmas foods ARE calorie free!


  20. What, no Bieber fever?

    Amusing post and dare I say, Happy Holidays!!

  21. I saw a Justin Bieber toothbrush at Target. I had to buy it because it's so stupid. I sent it to my sister.

    I hate the reruns, too. Can't wait until the movies I ordered arrive.

  22. Oh - great rant-fest. I'm so there with you on the darkness!

    thanks for hosting this - great fun!

  23. ... or maybe not - sorry michael... I swapped between blogs as I have 4 windows open - great rant - but without the hosting of :)

  24. I'm trying to get to everyone on the Blahgfest but I had a meeting today about the boys, so I AM WAY BEHIND and I'll get to people.


    I thought we were soulmates, there, for a second, when you did the Christmas/Xmas thing, but then...


    (I'm panting with aghastness)


    I LOVE my drunken reindeer and giant Rudolph and floppy Tigger, and today I had to cave in and throw away Pete The Patriotic (and Now Christmas-y) Parrot because he just couldn't inflate anymore, and if you remember that scene in "Cast Away" when Wilson got swept out to sea, it was almost exactly like that only instead of a volleyball there was a deflated nylon parent, instead of Tom Hanks, there was me, and...

    well you get the drift. It was sad.

    I have a feeling that you could not be my neighbor. You would be turning me in to the Yard Police all the time, and I, in turn, would mutter under my breath whenever I walked by your house.

    But I will do the December 31 story thing, because other than the fact that you have stabbed me in my Inflatable Back, you're a good writer and a good person to know. Love the list.

  25. I have to wonder about Christmas music. It's on several of the lists I've seen so far, but someone's got to be listening to it, right?

    And--ACK. Justin Bieber again. There is no escaping him . . .

  26. I decided I couldn't come up with 12 things that I hate about Christmas but I will agree with your pie chart on Christmas music. Too many of the remakes or covers suck.

  27. Ha ha ha! I hate inflatable yard decorations too! :D And don't even get me started on Justin Bieber... :P

  28. well shit, mike... you want me to take time away from my hours on fb just to rant about what i hate about the season...? X 12!

    all YOU said, and likely more, IF i had the time to come up with them...

    humbug, indeed! ;)

  29. I'm sitting here reading all the Blahg Fest entries, when I should've taken a bathroom break a while ago; and now I'm laughing so hard I can't stand up or I'll leak! Jeez, you are too freakin' funny. Thanks for hitting the nail on the head, with everything and THANK YOU FOR THE SHOUT OUT! Super cool.

  30. Well, I'm right there with you on the cold. Horrible, horrible cold. Well, I'm with you on most of the others too. Lots of things to hate on.

  31. a few of your hates coincide with mine. Though i live in MN and really enjoy the snow and cold, so that's not a bad thing for me.
    I can't stand inflatable decorations. They're almost always stupid up here, like penguins driving a nascar, or a snowman wearing camo and carrying a hutning rifle. THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
    I've actually never heard anyone complain about xmas versus christmas. I didn't even know that was a thing.

  32. Bahaha! Love this post (though I'll be posting a yay Christmas post in the next day or two!). :-D

  33. Though I like driving (or being in the car) at night, I have to agree with you on the fact that I don't like it when it gets dark super early.

    And inflatables aren't too, too terribly bad, at least while they're inflated. Every morning before school I pass this house that has a deflated Santa in the front yard. It's gotten to the point where it makes my eye twitch.

  34. I really hate those blow up decorations as well. I usually hate snow too (we usually get buried where I live), but this year we are having some sort of weird weather thing and it's 50 degrees out. (yay.)

  35. There is so much on this list I can relate to. I was just talking to hubby about the fact our two 'family' holidays are too close together. I think I'll pass on the Justin CD. :)