Friday, September 23, 2011

A Fairy Tale For Straight Men

nce upon a time, a prince asked a beautiful princess "Will you marry me?"

The princess said "Hell no" and the prince lived happily ever after.

He rode motorcycles and f*cked skinny big-titted broads

and hunted and raced cars and went to naked bars

and dated women half his age and drank whiskey, beer,
and Captain Morgan....

The prince never heard bitching and never paid child support or alimony
and ate p*ssies and ass-f*cked cheerleaders and kept his house
and guns and never got cheated on while he was at work
and all his friends and family thought he was f*cking cool as hell
and he had tons of money in the bank
and he never read books because he was sexy as all get
and there just wasn't time for any of that
and in the end, he left the toilet seat up.

His name was George Clooney

The End.

See...fairy tales aren't just for women and kids.  Men have them too.  Have a great weekend.

34 comments:

  1. This is a pretty raunchy fairytale. I wasn't expecting the last line!

    If you'd only given a hint by mentioning his pig...

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  2. Baha! Great way to usher in the weekend, Michael. :P

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  3. Yep. Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter is the same way. Can't say I'd blame them. If I had millions of dollars, looks, and power I wouldn't want to settle down either.

    BTW, have you ever watched the "American Dad" episode about George Clooney? It's hilarious and probably echoes some of what you've said.

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  4. Hah! You're fucking twisted Mike, and I love it.

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  5. That sounds like every man's dream.

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  6. Theresa: It's meant in humor but I know tons of guys where this would be their exact fairy tale.

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  7. *LOL* Ah, what a fairy tale! I betcha every prince wishes that happy ending for themselves.

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  8. Happy Ending... Is that a double entendre? Christine...you dirty girl. >,<

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  9. Damn that George Clooney! Raunchy but funny. :) Happy Weekend.

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  10. Ohhh... I love George Clooney and now you have sullied him for me.

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  11. Still don't think I'd want his life. I have a thing about safe sex.

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  12. That is flipping hilarious. I've never understood the fascination with George or his life.

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  13. Another great post! Although it's ironic since George Clooney is actually gay. (no joke)

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  14. Phil: Clooney is not gay. He was married one time and swore to never be married ever again and he has a current girlfriend. Do you know what "gay" means?

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  15. I enjoyed reading a guy's fairytale.

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  16. The straight guy's fairy tale - so true, so sad :)

    I've visited a few times before, but will be visiting more often as you are in my Campaign group! Thanks for helping with the last challenge.

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  17. What brand of shampoo does Clooney use?

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  19. Let's try that again...
    PS... I think I try to leave more comments on your blog than I actually do... for some reason I always have to hit send twice, it's as if I am being tested as to whether I really want to send such drivel.

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  20. I read this out to my devoted other half, him who loves only me, and he sighed and muttered 'if only'. I think he was referring to leaving the toilet seat up ;-)

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  21. Yeah - Clooney has done okay for himself. I once had a show on public access so we're pretty similar.

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  22. So what you're saying is that only a woman can set you free ;)

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  23. Sorry. I didn't actually read the fairytale. For some reason I couldn't take my eyes off the picture of George Clooney.

    I can only assume this was another funny, entertaining post.

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  24. OMG! lol heheheh I'm laughing out loud! damn true! :D

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  25. I'm pretty sure you've been told a time or two that you're something else. ;)

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  26. sounds more like a fairytail to me, mike :O lol

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  27. I was not expecting George Clooney's name at the end. Also marraige is not what you make it soundlike. I am sure that you are kidding.

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  28. btw - being 'married', even to women, does NOT a heterosexual male make...

    a friend had a husband who turned out to be a 'serial father'... yup, and gay... married women long enough to 'knock em up', as they say, then went back to his boyfriend, every time...

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  29. Michael - Since I'm gay myself, yes I know what gay means :) I've heard multiple rumors doubting his heteroness. And isn't it strange that he dates some PYT for about 2 years, then like clockwork, dumps her and dates someone new? So maybe they are rumors, but then again, maybe they're not. dun dun dun

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  30. A man's fairy tale, LOL! Nicely done.

    I have a couple of blog awards for you over on my site when you feel like coming by to pick them up!

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  31. Oh I am laughing so hard. :)

    I never know why people are always biting on Clooney's butt. He seems very happy single. He's not drugging himself senseless, drinking himself stupid or wasting all of his money.

    Women better looking than him still want to sleep with him.

    He obviously hasn't met anyone he likes better than all of that. So what? Good for him.

    Better than marrying constantly to the wrong woman or leaving a string of children all over the planet.

    I'm happy him. Let him be single forever if that's what he wants. I'll still watch his movies.

    :)

    Tirz

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  32. Interesting post!! I really like this site, and hope you will write more!

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