First, you should know that I consider myself to be an ordinary person, and I can tell that whomever wrote this meme is (in Southern language) "putting on airs." In other words, they think they are better than me, and I'm like...whaaattt? Did you not get the memo that being vulnerable, kind, and generous does not make you extraordinary? There's lots of people who are vulnerable, kind, and generous. I work with hundreds of people who define this every day. There are millions and millions of people who are vulnerable, kind, and generous. The antithesis of this, psychopaths, make up around 4% of the population (I got this statistic from a book called The Sociopath Next Door). This means that 96% of the population of the United States could probably be said to be at least "kind" and "generous." Charity is huge here. So what the hell is going on? Why does someone who wrote this meme think this qualifies as extraordinary? Why is "mediocre" lumped in with the words "abusive" and "terrible?"
The non-profit organization Utah Harm Reduction is an organization interested in promoting safety and well-being among a population of substance consumers. I get that. I know some ravers and partiers who get super excited to dance under an electric sky, to engage in P.L.U.R. (Peace, Love, Unity, and Respect), and they like their ecstasy and other drugs because it's fun and allows them to escape the banality of existing in a world which doesn't appreciate them all that much. Done. I understand and wish them all well on this journey. But using drugs, enjoying music, having public sex, wearing costumes, and saying "f*ck you" to the establishment does not make a person extraordinary. Not in my book, at least. It just makes you human. Congratulations, you do what you want. You pierce what you want. You tattoo what you want. You sleep with whom you want. It's nice to have freedoms and welcome to the human race. People have been doing this kind of thing for thousands of years. You are not extraordinary. You are, in fact, ordinary. And if you look at your life, and see how far you've come and what achievements you've put under your belt without the aid of others, you will probably see how ordinary you are. In fact, you may only be in a good place in life because you had the "luck" to be born in a country and a society which has allowed these things to flourish.
But here's the thing: being ORDINARY IS NOT BAD. I'm an ordinary guy. Everyone I work with is ordinary. I play ordinary games like Dungeons & Dragons, I read ordinary books (some of which are actually written by extraordinary folks) and I listen to music (a lot of which is produced by extraordinary folks). There are plenty of extraordinary people out there, but that's only because we have a world population of 8 billion. One percent of 8 billion is still 80 million people who have talents that are mind-blowing. Take Kodi Lee from America's Got Talent or Simone Biles, the Olympic gymnast. These are people who are truly extraordinary. And here's another moniker of the extraordinary: they usually make their mark on the world by their early twenties if not their teens. If you are past thirty, and you are not well known, chances are...YOU ARE ORDINARY. This isn't to mean that you cannot be successful and make it into the middle class. The Middle Class is full of ordinary people who drive cars, own houses, and can even afford cars like a Mercedes Benz or a Range Rover. Lots of middle class "ordinary" people live fulfilling lives, pumping out a few kids, getting married, getting divorced, smoking weed, and sexting with a partner or multiple partners (if you're into polyamory--which is also not extraordinary by the way).
This "idea" that I'm seeing where individuals hold onto a belief that they are extraordinary is toxic and poisonous. People who think they are extraordinary will not want to do everyday tasks that people need to do in order to live a healthy life. They will miss opportunities for love, because they believe someone is beneath them, and they will wait for a truly extraordinary person (or opportunity) to find them (and this will never happen). They will have unrealistic expectations about life, and they will come up wanting. And the thing is...all of this will lead to a mental health crisis. We will see enmasse depression and anxiety cropping up in the population, because that's what happens when people have unrealistic expectations about reality: you get depressed. It's honestly not rocket science.
I wonder (deeply) how we even got here as a society? Why are there so many normal folk who think they are better than others, and what kind of damage is going to be inflicted upon our society as a result? Can we please not demonize the word, "ordinary?" If you do, you risk not only demonizing me, but demonizing yourself...as you are more than likely an ordinary person (especially true if I know you personally).
Maybe whoever wrote that is a big Ayn Rand fan. Most of our stories are about someone with a great destiny: Moses, Jesus, Arthur, Superman, Luke Skywalker, etc. So is it a surprise people think there's some great destiny for themselves?
ReplyDeleteBTW the official Merriam-Webster Definition of mediocre: of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance
DeleteI didn't check Merriam-Webster but a quick google search turned up the word, "Ordinary," which is what I used. But even the dictionary definition above uses (or) and not (and). This means it could mean "moderate" quality just as often as it does "low" quality. "Moderate" is fine. I'd be fine to drive a "moderate" car to work every day. I'd be fine wearing "moderate" clothes. The definition of moderate is basically "average."
DeleteIn the context of the meme though I think they mean low quality, ability, or performance, not ordinary. Like if I say McDonald's French fries are mediocre I most likely mean they're crap.
DeleteOrdinary? You're hardly ordinary to me. Maybe the term is better used as humble. You might be ordinary to yourself but to a bunch of people you are super-Extra-ordinary.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you don't know what ordinary is?
ReplyDelete"Ordinary" people do not read and "ordinary" people do not play board games except on rare occasions and certainly not D&D.
I'm not really arguing your point; I'm just saying maybe your viewpoint is skewed.
I beg to differ, sir. There are lots of people without disabilities who can read just fine. But I'll play your game: what defines "ordinary" in your opinion? And what defines "extraordinary?" See, in my book, "extraordinary" is rare, which is why it is "extra" rather than "ordinary." For example, gold is a rare element. When you come across it in the wild, it is extremely rare and creates a bit of excitement depending on how much is found. This would qualify as an "extraordinary" event. People these days are spreading a lie that every single person is "extraordinary" and it's doing no one any good. There are lots of ordinary folks. I'm one of them. It's not a matter of being "humble" as Huntress points out in the above comment. It's just the truth, just like it speaks to truth to say "California has a coastline on the Pacific Ocean." It just is what it is.
DeleteOrdinary is like average. The average person does not read. That's a fact. Only 50% of people (in the US (and it's lower in most other places)) ever read another book after they get out of school. Only 50% of them read more than one book every year or two. Anyone who reads even a couple of books a year, by the fact that they read at all, no longer fall in the category of "ordinary" people.
DeleteThat's just a fact. Definitions mean something.
I'm not saying that reading makes someone "special" but it does make that person, by definition, extra-ordinary.
Andrew, when I first looked at your comment, I thought you had to be wrong. So I googled to see how many people actually read books in the U.S. and you are right, if not overly optimistic. This is something I hadn't thought about, the decline of reading in the U.S. I wonder if the rise of vanity has anything to do with it. In other words, people are too busy trying to prove to the world that they are beautiful through social media, that pursuits like "reading" and "being a consumer rather than a creator" are just very unappealing. I recently helped a guy I work with to self-publish his book, which is essentially a hundred pages of masturbatory greatness via autobiography carefully hidden under a veneer of answering questions so others know what its like to live in a wheelchair. What strikes me as odd regarding this endeavor is that the man doesn't read for recreation. He hasn't touched a book after high school. Yet he wanted to write one and publish it so that others would read it. "I have no time to read anyone else's stuff, but here's my story and I'm looking for readers." It's odd that he wants to be a content creator and not a consumer, but he does exhibit a lot of classic narcissistic traits.
DeleteI think it's more related to there being easier forms of entertainment. That and we have an unrealistic view of how much people used to read, because we think that reading used to be this huge form of entertainment for people, but it never really has been, partially because, before the 20th century, the mass of population couldn't read at all. But it's really about idealizing the past. People have always mostly not been readers. But it may be getting worse since the 80s with video games and digital media coming in. Certainly, the trend toward smaller bites when it comes to people and what they read is a "thing."
DeleteAs for writing...
I will never understand the thought process of someone who doesn't read deciding to write a book. Well, other than that Americans tend to have this glamorized view of writers and think it's all Stephen King and J.K. Rowling. And that it's "easy."
Yes, mediocre was wrong for that meme. I rather like being ordinary.
ReplyDeleteI like your discussion above with Andrew, but my comment goes in another direction, and that is the sloppy use of words. The word mediocre was completely wrong in the context of that meme, and I see such mistakes all the time. In an article in a major online magazine the writer complained that a beauty contestant wasn't normal because she was a size 4, or something like that. Excuse me? The contestant was NORMAL, but her body size simply wasn't AVERAGE. Such sloppy, sloppy writing!
ReplyDeleteI share your complaint about overuse of the word extraordinary; another one in my opinion is amazing. I am so sick of parents claiming their kids are "amazing!" No, your kids may be good and decent but they're not AMAZING! So get over it.
Last year when I was in Ireland for my Mom's passing and funeral I spent time with cousins I hadn't seen in years. One of them later kindly emailed me afterwards and said they all had a chat and decided that I was "down-to-earth" and "grounded." Not amazing. Not extraordinary. But the thing is down-to-earth and grounded made for high praise in their view, and they're words that were specific to me. Now that's how to use language!
Thanks, Helena. That is an interesting choice of words, and your comment on how people are bringing up their kids really resonates with me too. For example, I've noticed that "innocence" in children seems to be a prized thing. However, what purpose does it serve? Does the innocence serve the child? I don't think it does. I think it's a selfish behavior that the parent engages in to create a bubble around themselves wherein they can exist without having to acknowledge the ugliness of the world around them. I've noticed to an alarming extent newly minted 18 year olds who are "adult" by every measure of the law who blanch and turn faces at any talk that is sexual or gross (regarding bodily functions). I've faced down these 18-year-olds and have said, "Look...these things are real whether you like them or not. The human body is gross. You should probably get used to it because you have a human body of your own. The sooner you realize what you are, the sooner you will be able to see the world clearly. Additionally, you are very ill-prepared to confront monsters in this world, and monsters are all around you. There are pedophiles, rapists, and other kinds of criminals who wear the same clothes that you do. Pretending that they don't exist, or not wanting to hear about any of this behavior, does not make it go away. Ignoring evil doesn't mean it doesn't happen. In fact, ignorance is actually making society worse."
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