Why do we pretend that bullies don't actually get what they want.

I'm back from my short blogging break. I hope that everyone had a nice President's Day weekend. Chances are better that you did if you don't live in Ukraine. After reading the coverage about Ukraine, how Russia has it completely surrounded on all sides, and how an invasion is imminent if it already hasn't started, I wondered to myself: why do the bullies always win?

Hollywood is full of movies where this isn't true. Bullies are always put into their place by heroes of all kinds, whether it is in a buddy cop movie, a big budget superhero movie, or some kid standing up for himself in a high school by learning karate. I look at all of these stories now under a different light. They all seem like gaslighting to me. This isn't how the real world works. It's an idealized world...it's how it should work. In an idealized world, women can knock out giant men twice their size in brutal cage fights. It's like the David and Goliath story. It's how it should be. But it isn't.

In the real world, bullies seem to get whatever they want. Bullies invade countries and other countries just let them because they know if they don't, it will mean the start of a World War. Bullies punch down and other people watch them do it, because they are afraid to do anything about it. We have bullies in jobs, bullies on playgrounds, bullies on the highway cutting us off in traffic, bullies forcing us to do labor while giving compliments like, "you're so essential," and bullies demanding to be accommodated even if it means trampling on other people. Being a bully seems to have a good track record. Sure...there are a few stories of people getting their comeuppance. But by and large I see more bullies getting off with no consequences for their disrespect of consent than I do for those who are punished for this same disrespect. 

Consequences seem to be really hard to enforce. Our civilization seems to mostly run on threats and bluster. When enough people start to test those threats, the whole thing starts to collapse. Humanity is a very strange thing when you realize that a lot of the rules and safeties we take for granted are just an illusion that we've all bought into by putting faith that "there are consequences for behaving badly." 

Over President's Day here in Utah, there were a handful of protestors up at the capitol who were protesting Russia's bullying tactics and threats of invasion against Ukraine. I thought to myself, "How useless and what a waste of time." And then I realized, this is about all the power that people have to do anything with a bully like Vladmir Putin. The lesson: really big bullies get what they want. My opinion is that we should accept this truth, start to teach it, and stop gaslighting people into thinking that it is otherwise. I imagine Hollywood would be very opposed to this idea, and the effective spin to combat what I'm saying is easy: "We are not gaslighting...we are selling hope." There's always a way to rebrand, repackage, and sell an idea, which makes getting to the actual truth a very complicated affair.

It's kinda like how a series can come out (about that kid who learned karate so he can stand up to bullies in high school) where a hero is suddenly shown to be a villain all along. In Johnny Lawrence's words (in Cobra Kai), "He showed up, sucker punched me, poured water on me at a dance, took my girlfriend, and then used an illegal karate move without hesitation to win a tournament." It's a great way to rebrand, and I was kind of stunned when I realized what was happening. And...I can't argue with it at all. But at the time, it didn't seem like the kid who learned karate was a villain.

The most successful bullies are ones who are great at misinformation. They have the ability to confuse, to muddy the waters of morality, to get people to see the other side of things. And thus, downtrodden people wish and long for a higher power, a thing that has the ability to decipher truth from lies, to find intent, and then to punish wrongdoing. But because that doesn't actually exist, bullies win and get what they want. It's kind of fascinating in a very sad way, but it is likely the human condition and it will never change.

Any of you have any thoughts on bullying (or the doom of Ukraine) that you'd care to share?

My deep thoughts about bullying revealed by The Newsroom

Olivia Munn as Sloan in "The Newsroom"

At the time of the writing of this blog post, I have just finished the "Bully" episode of HBO's "The Newsroom". Just like all the other episodes, this one got me thinking. When the title credits started to roll, I wondered if they were going to talk about the rash of gay teen suicides. Or perhaps they were going to tackle the documentary called "Bully". But instead, they led with the Fukushima disaster in Japan. What on earth does Fukushima have to do with bullying? I'll tell you.

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Sloan, played by Olivia Munn (author of Suck It, Wonder Woman! <== yes I own this book. Yes I think it's awesome), is put on the air to talk with a TEPCO representative about Fukushima. She had previously spoken to him by phone and learned "off the record" that the disaster was very serious. It was going to be raised to a level 7 which is the same level as Chernobyl. But "on the record" the Japanese company was only going as high as level 5 (Three Mile Island).

Because she was frustrated that she had this knowledge and believed that the public deserved the truth, she cornered Will McAvoy (lead anchorman played by Jeff Daniels) and solicited his advice. He told her that she needed to stick to her guns. She needed to go after the guy and make sure that he fessed up to this knowledge. Only then would she be a "true reporter."

So that's exactly what she did. She pursued it with such fervor that it nearly got her canned, cost the guy at TEPCO his job, and panicked an entire nation. But she reported the truth. The only thing is, she was a huge bully. And the whole point of the episode was to show that this is bad.

Workers at the Fukushima disaster last year.

Now that I've had some time to digest Aaron Sorkin's clever writing, I have to agree with him. Just because we have truth as a wind beneath our wings does not give any of us the right to bully someone else with it. That goes with all subjects whether it be religion, politics, atheism, science, or any number of other topics.

I think bullying will never get eliminated from the human race. But to minimize the danger of it, we all have a responsibility to keep an open mind and to be accepting to change of any kind. In the least, these are my deep thoughts about bullying revealed by "The Newsroom."

Have a great Monday

Cars, Confidence, Communication, and the Celebration of You

This post is taken from a Tumblr called Long Live Lemons which is no longer around.

"The car who has her headlights as her eyes from Cars 2.

I drew her the way I see her in my mind - beautiful; like all the of the lemons. I even gave her a name, Claudette. 

One of the lessons of Cars 2 can be interpreted [as] bullying is a bad thing. The movie gives us the examples of cars from an era of which they just couldn’t catch a break; this is true. The movie shows these characters as what we’re supposed to see as mature men...so it leaves us to believe that their bullying happened the most when they were younger.

As the years passed and they progressed into the adults they are today, they finally broke down...and they took it to drastic measures. 

One of my signature things in the Cars fandom is drawing the characters the way they want to be seen. I don’t draw the lemons with rust and angry faces. At the same time, I don’t draw them as incredibly happy cars as well. Here we have a lemon because her eyes weren’t built the way the other cars were built. I guess we should interpret this as a disability. At least, that’s the way I write it in my fan fiction. I didn’t draw her rusty and crazy like the movie portrayed her to be. I drew her casually. 

The thing about Cars is that when you change the way they look, you’re changing their character. Each character is made to look a certain way. If people did more research and looked up the meanings of colors, one would find that the color of their paint jobs actually means something that has to do with their personality (besides the tuners and modified cars). I can see how some would think that I change the characters when I draw them the way I do. I agree, I do change their character. I make them more confident, but they’re still the same character. 

If you were someone who didn’t feel so great about himself, you would tend to wear clothes that match your mood; your own looks will mimic your own feelings. However, that one day you smile and your clothing and appearance matches your attitude now, does that mean you’ve changed your character? No, it doesn’t. Confidence does not equal a personality change and I say that because people think that moods are the same as personalities. Personalities are permanent while moods are not, no matter how permanent they seem. If you’re feeling sad one day, even if you’re entire day feels like it’s been sad, there was a change in your mood at some point in the day, even if it were for a split second. 

Not everyone can be the super cool, super agent car

I think most people don’t sit there and take the time to analyze the Cars movies. They just see that it doesn’t work and they don’t give it the chance they deserve. There’s a lot to pull from both of them. Yes, I said both of them. 

You know what else doesn’t work? Talking toys, fish, rats, and so on. None of it works because none of it is real. This, my friends, is the beauty of fiction. To be able to be pulled into a world that is crazy; that is completely insane. That’s why it’s so fun."

I have nothing to add to this.

I agree totally.

Learn from Cars.

Celebrate you.

Write fiction.

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is a "mind-blowing sci-fi read from
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