Even though it isn't spring, and winter has a firm grasp on the part of the country where I live, March always makes me think of spring. I feel like this March is going to be particularly challenging, because I'm getting roommates to help pay the bills. It's the first time I've had roommates in over twenty years. So, lots of changes are happening in my life. One of the things that I like about this situation is that my two roommates and myself have a lot in common. And they've promised to help out around the house. When it snowed 14-inches last Wednesday, I realized after four hours of shoveling that it probably will be good to have some help now and then. I'll probably say the same thing once summer arrives and the lawn needs to be mowed. So, I'm focusing on the positives and seeing how that will work out.
What is the purpose of the IWSG?: It is to share and encourage other writers. Writers who post during the IWSG can express doubts and concerns on their blogs without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!
When does everyone post?: The first Wednesday of every month is officially Insecure Writer’s Support Group Day. As a participant, your responsibility is to post your thoughts on your own blog. This is your opportunity to talk about your doubts and the fears you have conquered. You can discuss your struggles and triumphs or offer a word of encouragement for others who are struggling. You should also do your best to visit others in the group and connect with your fellow writers. The suggestion from the IWSG sign-up page is to aim for a dozen new people each time and return comments. This group is all about connecting! You also want to be sure to link to the IWSG page and display the badge in your blog post. Finally, you want to make certain that your avatar links back to your blog. Otherwise, when you leave a comment, people can't find you to comment back.
Let’s rock the neurotic writing world!
The Twitter handle for the Insecure Writer's Support Group is @TheIWSG and their hashtag is #IWSG.
The awesome co-hosts for the March 1st posting of the IWSG are Diedre Knight, Tonya Drecker, Bish Denham, Olga Godim, and JQ Rose!
Is there a question/prompt I can answer if I'm struggling to write a blog post? Yes, there is. Every month, the IWSG announces a question that members can answer in lieu of a post on writing. These questions may prompt you to share advice, insight, a personal experience or story. Include your answer to the question in your IWSG post or let it inspire your post if you are struggling with something to say.
And all that being said, I usually just answer the question. So here is the March 1st question:
Have you ever read a line in novel or a clever plot twist that caused you to have author envy?
Of course, yes! But it happened when I was quite young (still in high school). I think that is an age when people are constantly comparing themselves to others. I would read a really good story and rather than be inspired by it, I'd get a little depressed that my mind didn't come up with whatever this thing was. However, those feelings of envy went away in my early twenties. Now, I just read things, and I enjoy things for what they are. Maybe this is one way adulthood and maturity finally arrived for me. If I come across a super good story, I think, "I'm so fortunate that I found this story and that someone spent a ton of time trying to get this into my hands." Here are a few more examples that illustrate what I'm talking about.
I have friends who make tons of money, way more than I make, and I have the same feelings towards them. I'm happy that they found a path to whatever it was that they wanted. I can't walk those same paths, and I realize that. I have my own roads I need to follow, and my own opportunities. I know that some things are just not reproduceable. It's been over two centuries, and the world has yet to create another Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and maybe it never will.
I think one of the most important things to learn in life is to know what is possible for you, and to explore where those pathways lead. It's actually important in everything. If you have a friend that becomes a model for Vogue magazine, that may not be something you can reproduce for yourself. The best thing to do is recognize this and wish them well and then concentrate on your own life and how to make yourself comfortable in it. An example of this is looking at any superstar celebrity. I'm going to pick on Tom Holland for a minute. I'm sure that Tom Holland had childhood friends. Whoever these people are would have needed to realize that the success Tom Holland achieved isn't reproduceable by them even though they hung out with him all the time. It just isn't. The best thing they could have done (and I hope they did whoever they happen to be) is just to wish him well and go about living their lives and doing the things that they are capable of doing.
Americans in particular have a kind of toxic view of failure. I saw a post on Reddit about a teenaged girl and her teenaged boyfriend who are having a baby together, and they are worried (and seeking advice) because they are poor, and they have no familial support. They got tons of crazy advice, so much so that the thread got locked by Reddit. And you can guess what the advice is, but the short list assumes that a baby...any baby...deserves to live a good life. So adoption and other things were thrown into the mix under "what you gotta do now is...." and blah blah blah. The thing is, all of it is wrong. The teenaged girl and her teenaged boyfriend don't have to do anything. There are poor people everywhere. And there always have been. And there are poor uneducated babies that grow into impoverished adults. There are homeless individuals everywhere. If the United States agrees (collectively) that capitalism is the superior system, then this is natural. We should all be okay with this. We should stop shaming the poor and just admit it is natural and go about our business. Capitalism doesn't work if there is no one on the bottom. Capitalism has a "nature to it," and I've learned in my life that it is best to let Nature (for the most part) take its course. To be clear, I don't like this system. I prefer socialism with safety nets. But that's not what we have in this country. And the message from the capitalists is "you better toe the line or else." So, I toed the line. And this pregnant and poor teenaged girl is going to need to toe the line too. Welcome to poverty, and that's okay. Failure happens all of the time. I dare anyone to prove me wrong on this.
To return to the question posted by the IWSG, I think we'd be best to remember this lesson as writers. Failure happens all the time, and that's okay. Some writers will go on to be George R.R. Martin and J.K. Rowling. Many of us will not, and we need to be okay with that because we aren't entitled to success. This is the system that we have. Being envious of someone else's abilities helps no one (least of all you), and that all starts by letting go of author envy and just growing up and realizing that life is unpredictable, and that the chips are gonna fall where they may.
Thanks for visiting.
On Alex's post I said, "When I read The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier & Clay by Michael Chabon (something like 9 times in about 15 years) I always admire his use of language. The same when I read Faulkner in high school. I'd like to be that good but I'm just not."
ReplyDeleteI think any writer has to eventually accept his/her limitations, though I'm sure the "experts" would give you a lot of rah-rah stuff about you can do anything. No, you can't. As you get older you have to get more realistic about some stuff. I guess that's harder if you thought you were destined for greatness, like those guys who were great athletes in high school but never made it to the big leagues so they just sit around like Al Bundy or Uncle Rico in "Napoleon Dynamite" saying how great they could have been.
But I never expected to win a Pulitzer like Chabon or Faulkner, so at this point I'd just like to make some money and get some nice reviews.
Yes. The harsh reality is that there has always been and will always be poor, uneducated people. And, it doesn't have to be that way. And, where one can help, one should help. If I hadn't worked for 23 year with abused and neglected kids, where would those children be now? As it is, I can tell you with certainty, that many, many, of the kids I worked with broke the cycle of abuse and neglect and poverty and have grown up to be good, productive members of society. Things do not have to be as they are. Go forth and be kind. Be a mentor. Tip generously. Open a door. Smile. Talk to old people (like me) and listen their stories. Talk you young people and listen to their dreams. Write their stories. Be open to change.
ReplyDeleteExactly. I can admire great guitar players while being okay with the fact I am a decent player in a small band. I'm on the path I choose.
ReplyDeleteEvery system has poor at the bottom, sad but true. Some are stuck there and some don't try for more.
You can only be the you you are. That's a good thing to learn. I don't think all of us do.
ReplyDeleteNot everyone can or is meant to be a Stephen King or Margaret Atwood. When I think about what my success as a writer at the status of those people would be, knowing myself and what I can take, I just don't think I'd be able to handle the demands of being that high up of an author since I'm a more down-to-earth, local kind of person. Top authors like those often have to tour all over to do readings and talks and I'm just not a travelling kind of guy who has to nearly live out of suitcase. So, as you said, it's better to just work with your own place in life to the best of your ability.
ReplyDelete