Friday, January 31, 2014

The Seven Wonders of American Horror Story makes me hope they've got a series in the works

I looked forward to American Horror Story: Coven every Wednesday night because it was the kind of garbage that I really like to watch and sadly, it's over. So now I feel I must weigh in on the season finale called "The Seven Wonders" because I have oh so much to say about it.

To get the good out of the way, AHS: Coven was as insane as its predecessors and that's a good thing. Chicks casting magical spells and dying only to come back to life to just die again was done in grandiose and oftentimes ludicrous fashion. And how can you go wrong with Stevie Nicks just randomly turning up for a music video of "The Seven Wonders" to hand out shawls to all the girls who are trying to become the Supreme? And that's basically where the good ends.

The bad (as usual) starts with questions. I know...why must I ask questions? Why can't I just watch and be done with it? I guess that's just how my brain works, so here they are:

Why was Stevie Nicks even there? She's not a witch, yet she randomly shows up to hand out shawls? Maybe it was for the benefit of Misty Day who had a real honest to god chance to be the Supreme, only she died and her body became dust. Which leads me to my second bone to pick with this series. Why oh why was a character as cool as Misty Day just allowed to die and turn to dust? This is the same witch who brought alligators to life so that they'd eat a camp of hunters, the same witch who healed Frankenkyle and who brought Myrtle back after she got burned at the stake. This is the same witch that kicked the sh*t out of Madison when Madison buried her alive.

Coven was also as disjointed as HBO's True Blood (that has six-hundred different characters). Was this show supposed to be about a magical sisterhood? Or was it supposed to be about an ancient rivalry between an immortal witch and the most powerful witch of her generation? Or was it supposed to be the story of a young girl cast out of her home to find solidarity with others who are like her? Or was it supposed to be about a Bible-banging, husband-murdering woman with an incredibly handsome and innocent son that she abused by giving him borax enemas only to kill him and burn his body to ashes? Or maybe it was about trying to find some kind of redemption for a truly rotten woman that didn't quite work out? Or last, maybe it was about witches gathering together to take a stand against an ancient order of witch hunters who own a billion dollar corporation and want nothing more than to stamp magical women out of existence?!

And oh the extraneous characters! Why did we even have Luke? What purpose did he serve other than to be some lame love interest for Nan who ended up getting sacrificed to the ruler of the underworld: Papa Legba? And Luke managed to uncover something terrible his mother did right before she murdered him, only to get murdered by Nan. And Marie Laveau died by falling down some stairs? Seriously? Honestly, there was no point to any of this. And why did Cordelia end up being the Supreme? She was completely useless all season, and in the season finale, Myrtle turns to her and just randomly says, "It must be you" or something like that and of course she is. The whole "Supreme" reveal was lame. Half of the coven died off under Cordelia's watch, she stabbed out her regrown eyeballs to get her powers back (and that didn't happen), and she was so incompetent she didn't know her husband was a witch hunter.

Coven was ALL of these things all at once, and that's probably why it felt like there was too much going on at times. Any one of these stories could have been a great season unto itself, but I think it tried to do and be everything when what it needed was more episodes and more focus.

However, I did love the idea of the witch coven, and I thought the test of the seven wonders was brilliant. Who knows, maybe there's enough material here to warrant its own series in the future. I think that might make me happier (and maybe I'd stop referring to it as indulgent trash fiction).

Did you watch American Horror Story this season? If so, what did you think of it?


  1. Americans can't seem to have enough trash TV.

  2. We do not watch American Horror Stories on Wednesday nights as "Talk soup keeps me" in touch with the stupidity of some reality shows.

  3. I haven't seen this show. I do miss the days when there were space opera shows on TV though. I'd be watching way more shows if that were still the case.

  4. I haven't watched this program, but when we come back from vacation I'm going to settle down and finally watch Breaking Bad.

  5. My Wednesday nights belong to Law and Order and Revolution on NBC. Besides I don't have the station. But your posts on this series has kept me very intrigued. I sometimes wonder about stuff too after the show is over so it's not just you Mike.

  6. I like that you question. And think. It's how good writers are made.

    No, I didn't watch this. For some reason I keep missing FX shows. It's on FX, right? I don't know why. Somehow, this channel is just not on my radar.

  7. You asked good questions because you have a natural storyteller's/ writer's brain. So when unnecessary characters pop up or the plot goes screwy, something jars in your head and you ask, "What the hell?"

    Now I just have to forget the phrase, "...stabbed out her regrown eyeballs."

  8. Heyya! Sorry I haven't been by. I had a writing deadline on a short story I hadn't even written. (My motto: put it off if you can for as long as you can.) :-)

    I was reading Helena's comment just above mine. Bahahahahahaha. Hey. She's right. I gotta forget that phrase too.

    I will tell you it was probably stupid for Stevie to be on that show but man the music of Fleetwood Mac. YEAH!

  9. I liked the intent behind the show more than the viewing too. I watched the last episode, but didn't really pay attention so I missed the fact that it was the last episode, and Cordelia was named Supreme. She should have been the first to go. All along I thought Zoe was going to be the chosen one, but her change in attitude the last few episodes kinda turned me away from the series.

    I doubt I'll continue watching any new AHS seasons. They usually start out well, but quickly lose my interest.


  10. I watched the first half of the season and was enjoying it, but I just fell behind. I liked it a lot better than Asylum, but I still think the first season was the best. The first season seemed the most focused. I wish AHS could get transferred to one of the premium channels so they could get away with even more adult content than they already do.