Ted Lasso shows us how you could live if all the big things were removed and you only had small things left to trouble you.

I'm almost done with season 2 of Ted Lasso. The episode I watched was called Beard After Hours. It was a big tonal shift for the series to make, and I learned that it was the second of two episodes that Apple specifically requested to be added to the series. It was one of those episodes that haunts practically every show that hits the zeitgeist hard. The Bear season two had one of these episodes that was overly long and indulged in the drama of a family in crisis that was set some six years or so in the past. I didn't enjoy that episode all that much. This one that focused on Coach Beard was one I place squarely in that same box.

However, I don't watch this show for plot momentum. I watch it for the characters, of which Ted Lasso himself is the most enviable and most interesting. And I also watch it for the happiness that being rich seems to provide to those who are in that position. Ted Lasso is filled to the brim with rich people. In the Christmas episode of season two, we see some actual poor people receiving presents from a "secret Santa" kind of thing done by the owner of the Richmond futball team. But it's just a blip in the continuing drama of what it means to be exceptionally rich, and to have nothing to do with one's time aside from work at a job that looks incredibly fun, hang out with a bunch of athletically gifted and super attractive young men, and where your daily calendar is filled with only the best nutrition and you have plenty of time to date and to seek out therapy and to just enjoy the best that life has to offer.

It's honestly quite intoxicating. I mean...sure there's drama...but there isn't the kind of drama that poor people face, like eviction, or having to stay in a toxic place because finances would kill you otherwise. No, this is the drama of a girl with halitosis who then needs to see a dentist on Christmas to begin to treat the issue, and there just happens to be a dentist in their posh neighborhood. This isn't the drama of working three jobs and letting your body get broken so that you can pay bills. It is the drama of attractive people who don't have to do their own housework who place rose petals in the bathtub for a lover who feels they need some alone time. And there's always someone else that will go and clean all those rose petals up. No one ever has to scrub a toilet, spend their weekend washing clothes, getting a vehicle repaired (as all the vehicles are in brand new condition), or going to the grocery store for ingredients to meal prep until Wednesday so that you have food to eat at work. This is the drama of people who are riding in the back of a Rolls Royce, they have no mind on traffic because they don't care (or road rage), and they have the time to contemplate how one of their loved ones is feeling. And then they can check in, because (again) they have the time.

It's absolutely wonderful and oh how fantastic. There's so much to envy in the happiness of the casually super rich. It feels like a place where you could "just do it." Oh...you've always wanted to go to Italy? Just do it. And while your at it, go and have this amazing experience. Maybe go to the Maldives too. Yeah...just do it. You only live once. Only...a lot of people in this world can't afford to "just do it" to anything, unless it's walk down to Walgreens on the corner.

Anyway, Ted Lasso is a great show. I'm glad Liz recommended it so highly, and I'd recommend it to anyone. Just know that it's as much fantasy as The Lord of the Rings for most of us. But it's a fantasy that a lot of people can relate to, because it doesn't seem so far-fetched. It just all lies across that line of privilege that probably starts after you've accrued ten million or so in net worth. That (in my mind) is where life really starts to get good. So basically, Ted Lasso shows us how you could live if all the big things were removed so that you only had small things left to trouble you. Just think of all the possibilities you would have if you didn't have to file taxes because its done for you, you didn't have to shop because all your food just shows up in your house and is put into the fridge magically and prepared for you so all you had to do was eat it, so that you always had replacement clothes that always fit...I mean...every single one of us could be a good person. It wouldn't be hard to be a good person in a world like that. Sigh, if only.

Watching Ted Lasso makes me wish I had better resilience.

I'm a few episodes into Ted Lasso, and I'm enjoying it. I heard about this series by word-of-mouth, and the constant yammerings of "you should watch this show" were not lost on me. Having only scratched the surface of what's there, I'm already predicting that this is a story of how one swell guy just kinda wins over all of the nasty people who eventually begin to stop being so nasty. I suppose then that it's a testament to the power of being kind and respectful to those who have trauma (or complex PTSD from trauma) and a bit about the road to healing from all of that. All in all, I'd boil it down to this: Ted Lasso appears to be a show about people learning to be better people. I think that's a strong premise for a story too. My friend Meg put it best when she stated that "emotional growth in people is an incredibly compelling thing to watch."

In some ways, it feels like a situational comedy. Maybe this is because the episodes are short. Even though it's scripted, there are things that I wish I could take from Ted Lasso (the title character). I've had the fortune to know people like him, and I've always thought the same thing of them as well. And this is simply that I wish I could react better to real-time social situations (that turn threatening). In other words, I need more resilience. Let me take a moment to define that term for you as it pertains to mental health.

Resilience is the ability to adapt to difficult situations. When stress, adversity, or trauma strikes, you still experience anger, grief and pain. However, you're able to keep functioning both physically and psychologically. Examples of resilience might be viewing a setback as impermanent. Another example is the ability to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth and to manage strong emotions and impulses. This (unfortunately) is not me, but it is Ted Lasso.

I tend to always look at the negative aspects of something I'm experiencing (due to a lifetime of microaggressions and trauma), and I can react with a nastiness that doesn't help any situation but actually seems to make it worse. I wish that I wasn't this way, and that I could look at someone the same way Ted does when I feel I've been slighted or insulted, and then just turn it into a joke.

When I'm under attack, I can actually feel my blood pressure rising, and then I attack back. Ted doesn't do this in his situations. When he's under attack (has had a boundary exploded in his face), Ted is calm, cool, and collected and then he (for the most part) responds with something that just makes you want to like him. It's a credit to Sudeikis (the actor), because he lends a kind of charisma to Ted that almost seems supernatural. He's a person that could look at something that could seem "high stakes" to me, and then show me why "this is just life" and "don't let it bother you." In other words, this character has remarkably good mental health. Maybe I should be asking why this is so, when it's clear that he gets abused and underappreciated by so many people. That's probably where the fiction of the show lies, right? Mental abuse leaves a mark on a person's mind, and it's unrealistic to think that someone could have as much resilience as Ted Lasso does. But it's not impossible at the same time. If there's anything I've learned it is this: everyone's resilience is different, and I don't think that there are definitive reasons as to why this is so.

Anyway, that's all I have to share about this show as of right now. I think I'm on episode 3. I'll try to add more insights as I progress through the series and point out things that I like. But even three episodes in, it has already taught me one thing about myself that I hadn't consciously recognized and put into words. That right there makes it a little remarkable.