Monday, January 31, 2011

The Misunderstood Exclamation Point!


Uh...whoops...i had my caps lock on.

Aside from turning you white when you read it in someone's manuscript, it has many other fantastic uses.  For example, if it were large enough, you could prop up a building with it as a huge red column.  However, here's more on this misunderstood form of punctuation:

1) Use it as an ice cream scoop for the rock hard stuff you got in your freezer compartment that hasn't seen the light of day since you started your New Year's Resolution.

2) Use it to express your undying love.  Perfect for Valentine's Day which is just around the corner.

3) Use it as a symbol for your new religion.

4) As a quest marker in the Massive Multi-Player Online Game that you are designing.

5) In your Independence Day celebration.

If you're ever in doubt if you are using it correctly, consult the following chart.  It's amazing. And thank you for visiting. If you are looking for a great science-fiction read that has glass spiders, hockey sticks, and monsters from the Id, please check out my book below. I may not use many exclamation points in it, but some reviewers have used them in their praise! :)

Now available for $4.99
on Amazon Kindle. Click
Here to learn more


Anonymous said...

I like to click on links, and I clicked on yours, seeing as you're usually so funny.
This cracked me up. I don't have a problem with exclamation points in emails or online communications, but it always throws me when I see two or more in a story . . . like that's the only way the author could get the emotion across . . .
And that little chart is hilarious- especially the 1 at the end.


Michael Offutt said...

Thanks Kingdom! I definitely appreciate you stopping by my blog to check things out :)

lizzyBathory said...

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!I cant believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just kicked the Exclamations point's butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry... couldn't help myself!(!!!!!!!!))

Alyson said...

This is so funny!!! I love exclamation points! And have been known to abuse them on occasion (in case you couldn't tell.)

Michael Offutt said...

Hehe. I think everyone abuses the exclamation point. I do hate it though when people talk in all caps in chat rooms.

Michael said...

Stumbled on this page by accident. LOVED the graphic illustration of overuse of exclamtion marks. Can I 'borrow' it? (I'll put a link back here.)

I was an overuser of them, though frequency rather than number in one place. I think this sign will help wean me off this bad habit! (Eventually!!)

Michael Offutt said...

@Michael: Sure, borrow away. Have fun with it.

L.G. Keltner said...

Ha! Now you have a new comment! This SERIOUSLY MADE ME LAUGH! Woops! Darn caps lock!

L.G. Keltner said...


Oops! Sorry!Darn caps lock!

Elise Fallson said...

The question mark is laughing his ass off.

Mina Lobo said...

Dude, that Exclamation Point! menorah cracked me up. "Throw rocks at me," LOL. Thanks for participating in my blogfest!
Some Dark Romantic

Jolie du Pre said...

Funny post! I'm not much of a Grammar Nazi. Love the exclamation points!

Zombie Blog Hop

JoJo said...

That's funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1