The Book of Revelations is some scary shit...if you believe in that kind of stuff. You could make a ton of movies from its material, however none of them would make as much money as Passion of the Christ so what would be the point, right? But when I really start to think about the religious obsession with the end of the world, I think that Christianity (the religion I'm most familiar with) really dropped the ball on these seven signs that the end of the world is happening now.
1) Justin Bieber is threatening to make his instagram private if fans don't stop bullying his new girlfriend. I mean, he's a white male that's young and has low body fat. That's really all you need to send tween girls the world round into a frenzy, right? So stop it y'all. As M.C. Hammer once said, "Can't touch this." Bieber doesn't want you to touch "this," and he certainly wants you to lay off the new lady, Sofia Richie. I'm sure this won't stop any of you who are committed to seeing more Bieber penis shots.
2) Donald Trump. I don't really need to explain this one. Let's just say that this portrait of him is the most accurate I've seen on the internets.
3) Global Climate Change. Each new year since like 2006 has been the hottest year ever recorded. California is on fire, ground is sinking because too much water is being pumped out of the ground to water almond trees, the sea levels are rising, and there's green algae everywhere...even in the Olympic diving pool! A place in Iraq just this year shattered the all time record for high temperatures in the entire hemisphere. I suppose there's a certain irony to a place known for fossil fuel production suffering the effects of fossil fuel production, but you gotta think...#endtimesy'all
4) Jurassic World was the fourth biggest box office hit of all time. Even with the miracle exemption of dinosaurs in the modern world, it just pushed suspension of disbelief a little too much to have a character sprint away from a T-Rex wearing high heels. Wonder Woman battling in heels though is totally realistic.
5) J.K. Rowling sold four million copies of a script for a movie packaged as a book because it had the words "Harry Potter" on it. Seriously? Who the hell reads a script for entertainment? If I wasn't certain of it now, I can absolutely say that millennials have no taste in books.
6) There is so much Narcissism in the world that there are now a ton of sub-categories for it so that psychologists can identify it all. There's covert narcissism, grandiose narcissism, altruistic narcissism, moral narcissism, and collapsed narcissism just to name a few. The most damaging effect of narcissism is that it destroys empathy, no matter what form it takes. A world without empathy is gonna seem like the apocalypse even if it isn't.
7) Self-driving cars. How is this technology possible? It sounds like devil-magic...a sure sign of the apocalypse.
The Trump urinals are hilarious!
ReplyDeleteRevelations doesn't say when, but I'm guessing it's really soon...
I wish the self driving cars talked like KITT on Knight Rider. Turbo boost!
ReplyDeleteI need a better warning system that the world is coming to an end so I can start power eating chocolate.
ReplyDeleteI saw a picture of some guy sleeping while the car was driving. This is one reason I just don't think it's the safest idea.
ReplyDeleteI like the self driving cars to replace all those 'other' drivers who can't drive. But will they decide to become aware after they see how gullible we humans are. . .and until the world is actually living 'The Day After Tomorrow' most people will ignore what's happening with climate change, magnetic fields around the Earth, etc. I go with the scientists myself, I like their theories better than Revelations. Wonder Woman is highly overrated. . .but the new superhero outfit is better. Thanks for enlightening my Monday. And Trump - well that image really suits him.
ReplyDeleteBut I want a self-driving car!
ReplyDeleteThen I don't even have to go half the time. I can just have the car take my kids wherever they need to go.
I was with you until self-driving cars. I want a self-driving car. (I hate driving.)
ReplyDeleteIt's a script for a play, not a movie.
ReplyDeleteThat's what I thought. Still ridiculous that they call it the "eighth Harry Potter book."
DeleteThe bible will always have believers and nonbelievers. That is part of living in a free world. I hope when people make Hillary Clinton urinals, people will still keep their sense of humor. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. I read a sample online for the script and wasn't into it. A big portion of buyers are buying it for the potter reference and as a book collector when the much cheaper paperback version is out next year I'll buy it for collecting purposes.
ReplyDeleteThe global map you posted of climate change reminded me of a denier asking why if the world was warming everywhere why was it still cooling in Antarctica and south of Greenland. The response... Those places are only cooling because the permafrost is melting which is causing near freezing water to flow into the ocean and reduce the temperature in those areas.
ReplyDeleteThis is the article if you want to get depressed:
Deletehttp://www.slate.com/blogs/bad_astronomy/2016/03/22/global_warming_predicts_colder_water_off_iceland.html
Climate change really could be apocalyptic. Short of major changes and scientific breakthroughs in the coming years (like how to quickly rid the atmosphere of excess CO2) we could become like the dinosaurs--not Jurassic World type, but instead the ones who died out.
ReplyDeleteBut as for Revelations inspiring movies: don't forget The Omen. (I'm thinking more the original one than the remake.) That flick scared the heck out of me when I was young because the evil forces were so invisible. I mean, at least evil, narcissistic Trump is painfully obvious to the naked eye.
Isn't a self-driving car kind of like a train or a bus? If we need that kind of break, then why not make it more environment friendly and share the ride?
ReplyDeleteI agree with you about Drumpf and narcissism. I'm disappointed about The Cursed Child. I won't read it.