I just think people lie way too much. They lie to avoid embarrassment, they lie to avoid punishment, and they lie to prevent hurt feelings. Sure, I know the reasons of why people lie. I just wish it wasn't that way, and honestly I think the truth makes the world a better place.
Recently, a friend told me a story. She is a Hispanic American whose first husband was a black man. As a result, her beautiful daughter had natural dark skin. She took her daughter to a daycare here in Utah and after work, went to pick her up. The lady at the daycare said, "Please don't bring back your child. I cannot care for your child. You need to find another daycare."
She asked, "Why? Was she bad?"
The lady responded, "No. She's black. I will not care for a black child."
Instead of getting angry, my friend responded as I would have responded. "Thank you. Thank you for admitting that you're a racist bigot. I will find another daycare for my child. I honestly am thanking you because had you not said something, you could have harmed my child. I'm glad it never came to that."
And she promptly went in search of another daycare asking questions like "Are you okay with the fact that my daughter has very dark skin?"
As a man with mixed ancestry myself, I understand perfectly how even though it is 2011, when you don't look a certain way or act a certain way you will be discriminated against. I appreciate truth.
More examples from life. Wouldn't it be better if people were honest in their interactions with others?
Take Sandusky of the Penn State scandal. If he had the guts, he should have just come out thirty years ago and said, "I like to screw boys. I'm a pedophile." Then maybe he could have moved to Thailand or some other place that doesn't prosecute pedophilia and not be in the trouble that he is in. At least boys would have been protected, and he could have claimed to be a part of the human race by outing himself as a monster. As is, he's more slug than human.
People who don't believe in God or the teachings of a religion yet remain within the ranks of a religion giving tithe simply because they don't want to lose friends or shatter the lives of their families. This is living a lie. And it gives strength to a religion (and their agenda) because you support them with your cash. I manage to eek out an okay existence by being an "out" atheist. I have no family and kids and play a lot of video games and read books. I wish it were different, but at least I don't lie. Lying is for cowards.
How about going up for a promotion at work? Here's the situation. You have more experience than the other guy. You have more education. Yet the other guy gets the job. Wouldn't it be nice if the boss just said, "Hey, the other guy is more attractive and even though he's married, I'm hoping I can screw him once or twice despite the fact that he's married." Don't laugh...I've actually seen this happen. I no longer work there...but yeah...I saw exactly that. Being the guy that didn't get the job, I would have liked to have had the truth. I could have quit sooner.
How about people who follow you in social media exclusively because they want to sell you their stuff? The lie is that they are interested in you. The truth is that they have no intention of ever actually being interested in you. They just want your money. Wouldn't it be nice to hear the truth?
Another example: a man I once knew gives his wife a doughnut every day after working midnight's. He knows that the wife has been trying to lose weight but says, "She loves the fresh doughnuts. It's a way I show that I care." The truth is more sinister: "I'm an insecure man and think my wife will leave me for another man if I don't fatten her up and make her feel ugly." I've seen this in action...it really did happen. I called the guy on his bullshit, and he 'fessed up to it.
A person says, "I will read your book." The truth is they have no intention of doing this. Just be honest. "I don't read and won't buy a copy of your book." I'd be fine with that and would say, "Thank you. I never expected your support anyway. It's not like we exchange Christmas cards."
A person gets to be friends with you so that they can befriend a friend of yours that they want to have sex with. Just be honest, "I find this person attractive and want to warm up to you so that the other person will like me and we can screw. But I really have no intention of being your friend and would prefer if you dropped off the face of the earth once I get what I want."
I like truth. I rarely get upset at truth. If someone finds me uninteresting, they should just feel free to say it. "Mike, I find you uninteresting and frankly, don't ever want to interact with you again." My response, "Thank you for being honest. We shall never interact again. Bye."
Occupy Wall Street is a movement that I've watched with fascination. It's people banding together over simple truths and they are not afraid to let people know that they are upset. The truth is that some people are living lives that are so much better than others and work far less for it. The truth is that 1% of the people
"Other than your gross miscalculation of the 1% (1% actually control anywhere between 38% - 42% of the nation's assets depending on which study you look at. The IRS confirms this. Still lopsided, but a FAR cry from the 99% you stated)"
Now onto the rest of my post ==> And the truth is that many in that 1% could give a crap about anyone in the 99%. I bet if poor people died by the millions or got gassed, they wouldn't shed a tear. They'd say, "At least I don't have to support deadbeats anymore." They should just tell the truth. Let people see them for the assholes that they are.
Funniest truth I heard all week came from a Catholic. I respect what he said. "Go through life and sin a lot. Otherwise, Jesus died for nothing." I was stunned given his beliefs but laughed my ass off.
Most people are so fake. I'm kinda sick of it. Do the world a favor. Next time you find yourself wanting to tell a lie...just stop. Come out with the brutal honest truth. Let people see you for who you are. Be true to thyself.
I'm with you on this. I'm very much against political correctness, as it's just a nice way of packaging lies. The world would really be better if we all just spoke the truth all, or at least most, of the time. I have encountered a few situations where telling the honest truth wasn't such a great idea...
ReplyDeleteMichael, do you need a hug? lol Yes, yes, yes... lying sucks and it's insulting in most cases. Sometimes I get a bad rap for being so direct cuz I don't like being phony or dishonest. But many times people may have hidden agendas or ulterior motives at first, then later it becomes merely an initiative that launched an action and resulted in true friendship or the like. I'm not condoning lying, I'm just saying that if everyone said exactly what they thought or felt all the time, we'd all hate each other. We just have to be smart and learn to trust our instincts about ourselves and other people. Everyone gets lied to or fooled at some point, it's how we deal with it that makes us better than the liars.
ReplyDeleteWow, Michael, that's a hell of a post! I don't think I'm brave enough to live in the world where everyone is honest. I mean, I try to stay honest with myself, with my friends, and with my family, but honest at work? Hell, no! If I told my colleagues, or my clients, what I really thought, I wouldn't be employed for long.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I agree with Pk that we'd hate one another. Every year my mum makes a Christmas cake I don't really like. Every year I eat a piece and tell her how much I enjoyed it. That's still a lie. But to tell her that I appreciate the effort, or the gesture or whatever, but I don't really like the cake... that seems churlish.
I agree that people should be honest about their values -- good and bad -- so at least we would all know where we stand. But those little polite lies, those are the ones that get us through dinner parties and first dates and job interviews.
I've noticed people lie to avoid conflict, to make life soother for themselves. Especially, the long, detailed overly-conconcted ones that chronic liars love to throw at people.
ReplyDeleteOK...here's a truth...I went to counseling and learned not to lie (I didn't originally go there for that). I was so afraid of telling the truth to everyone for fear of them getting angry, resenting me, not liking me, etc. I believed my little white lies weren't really lies, just bending the truth to give an acceptable answer. But I learned lying wears on the soul. It's still hard if someone asks me a direct question that I feel my answer would hurt their feelings, but there are ways to gently tell so that you're not inflicting blunt force emotional trauma to their ego.
ReplyDeleteThat is just horrible about the lady with her child in daycare. I don't know how she restrained herself from pure-ty slapping that woman. And yes, in that situation, I would appreciate the frank honesty becuase I would have made the same decision. But gosh, all-the-time honesty? I don't know. I think it depends on the situation. I try to evade speaking the truth with my kids - because sometimes the truth really does hurt. Santa? My response: well, who else would bring your presents? I can't afford this! When my daughter asks if I like her singing (she has her father's tone deaf-ness), I gush about how beautiful she is. I'm a skilled side-stepper.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post! You've given me a lot to think about.
The world would be a better place if no one lied. Of course, if no one had ever lied then the world would be a completely different place. None of your examples would be relevant because situations like that just wouldn't happen.
ReplyDeleteI feel sorry for your Catholic friend. I think either he doesn't really understand what is taught by the Church or he's simply trying to make excuses for his own sins. Either way, the point of view he expressed is definitely disturbing and pitiful.
I agree with the sentiment, but the problem is in a world where everyone's honest, liars would get an even bigger advantage, and the people doing the best at getting stuff, are the ones everyone else follows. It's a bit like Game Theory, where being a dick turns out to be the best strategy (unfortunately).
ReplyDeleteI think finding a way to stop rewarding people for being horrendous human beings (like not giving them TV shows, for example) would be a big help. And that would be quite simple, you would just have to stop people watching those shows. But they won't stop. They can't help themsleves.
mood
I don't think I'd want to hear the truth all the time and neither does anyone else. We all need a dose of denial in order to keep sane. That's why so many people turn to religion, because otherwise they have to face the fact that the world is a cold, largely uncaring place and that most of our lives are meaningless and the cheaters really do prosper and many will never get a comeuppance. Compared to that, it's no surprise most people would choose to believe there's a Big Man in the Sky to reward them for being good boys and girls with eternal paradise.
ReplyDeleteTruth is always better than a lie. But some people can't handle it.
ReplyDeleteLike Tonja said, people lie to avoid conflict. I try to make an atmosphere where it is comfortable for my kids to tell the truth. I've noticed when they have lied it is mainly to avoid conflict, nit because they are bad kids. So I tell them the consequences will be mild if they tell the truth and fix the problem. I found they actually expect some form of consequence. They just don;t want all the drama and that's why they make poor decisions and lie.
ReplyDeleteI love the invention of lying! I find it both hilarious and touching. I always cry at the scene where his mom dies.
ReplyDeleteThough, i have to say, when i say i'll read someone's book, i mean it. It might not be right away, but i'll get to it. Once i get an ereader it'll be even easier.
Also, i have firm plans to read your book. Truth.
the truth is scary
ReplyDeletesometimes i want sugar coating, but not really.
and the way you tell the truth can lessen the blow, like w/critiquing. tell me what i need to fix, but tell me what i did well, too. truth shouldnt be all bad =)
I think this is a brave post.
ReplyDeleteIt's much easier to lie, so feelings and the like don't get hurt. To be honest, some people can't handle the truth, but there are so many instances that the truth is so much better and less hurtful in the end than the lies.
I love this post, and I think it's a very interesting concept. I'd love to read a book about it someday. We really do lie all the time, even for little, inconsequential things, and it's become so much a part of our culture that most people don't even think about it.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with your friend....it's a good thing she got her daughter out of that situation! At least the woman was honest, even if she is (as you say) a racist bigot.
cool beans, mike, i'm with you
ReplyDeleteat one of my first jobs, my manager would ask, every morning, how i was... naively i told the truth, to which he nodded his head, said uh-huh, and left... about the third time i clued in, he didn't give a rat's ass, and began to reply: fine... at which he'd smile, and leave
Thought provoking post. Yes, I'm one of many who lie everyday on the small stuff. "How are you doing?" Answer- "Oh, fine." Truth is best on the things that matter. Does my answer really matter in the exchange above? No. I also don't tell people they have the worst haircut ever or are too stupid to work at job. Those are my opinions and not truths. I think intent is important. Now the truths you mentioned in the instances above are really important issues. Bigotry, criminal behavoir, etc. all fall into a different category.
ReplyDeleteBTW- I don't think I want to live in the world of The Invention of Lying. :)
Yes, some people will hate you for telling the truth. But those people we shouldn't give a rats ass about them hating us anyway. An ex-boss of mine was in an uproar because I wouldn't return her cordial "good mornings" and "good evenings". The truth was, I didn't want to wish her either. I disliked the heifer.
ReplyDeleteSome people recommend that I change my name to T. Renee on my resume; because my first name is a dead giveaway that I'm Black. At one point, I considered it. But now, I don't want to work for the company that would screen out an application based upon that fact. Bring on the truth! It is very possible to say whatever you want candidly, with diplomacy. The people that can't pull it off are the same a-holes that are tactless in truth and in lies.
"The Invention of Lying" is an AWESOME movie! Though you're the first other person I've heard of who's seen/liked the move :)
ReplyDeleteI'm all about honestly myself.
@Ted: I think "politically correct" has gotten out of control to the point that it obfuscates issues.
ReplyDelete@PK: Aww thank you for asking P.K. I will always without exception accept hugs that are freely given. I know that you are right. But the amount of lies that I've encountered lately have been so transparent that I've wished for a world that has more truth to it. Maybe not one as brutal as that in the movie, "The Invention of Lying" but yes something in-between the one that I live in now and that one would be nice. I spend a lot of energy trying to decipher what a person REALLY means and how it is applicable to me.
@Jen: So what if you were honest with your mum and told her that you didn't like the cake? Sure it might hurt her feelings. But what if she got over it and started presenting you with one you did like? Think of how the honesty in that little gesture would make the time you spent with her that much more pleasant. That's how I see it.
@Tonja: I agree.
@Alison: I agree but you know, racism is alive and well in 2011. As for side-stepping the truth? I think a lot of time can be wasted if people aren't honest. If your daughter is truly tone-deaf, you should let her know so that she doesn't waste time on pursuing something she can never be good at.
@Sarah: I thought what he said was funny and probably how many people think. Only he was brave enough to say it.
@Moody: You're right of course.
@Grumpy: I think seeing the world for what it really is better prepares us to deal with disappointments.
@Alex: I agree.
@Stephen: Yep. I agree with you.
@Sarah: You are awesome. Thank you.
@Tara: Why is the truth scary? I think it is liberating for the most part. Like if your boyfriend/ husband was cheating on you, wouldn't you want him to just outright tell you that he no longer wanted you? Think of how liberating that would be. Devastating yes. But you would be free to move on with your life and find someone that really did care.
@Cherie: I agree, although I don't know why they can't handle the truth.
@Kate: Thank you.
@Brinda: Fair enough.
@Tomeka: I'm going to call you T. Renee from now on. Just kidding. Anyone that thinks that bigotry and racism has lessened since the 60's is not paying attention to the pulse of the world. The latest to add to the discriminated are gay people.
Oh goodness. You are right. I think most people lie in small ways to avoid hurting people's feelings, which I can understand... but still lying less could make for a better world. I'm a pissed about your friends experience at the daycare. Happy that she was able to put her daughter in a place where she could be loved but I get irritated that people still manage to be racist bigots. Drives me crazy.
ReplyDelete"Liars are cowards" -- you got that right! The biggest lie in our culture today: There are no absolutes.
ReplyDeletePreach on man. That story of the daycare just sent my blood pressure up. I don't know how I'd react if that happened to me. I think I'd probably just laugh at them.
ReplyDeleteOther than your gross miscalculation of the 1% (1% actually control anywhere between 38% - 42% of the nation's assets depending on which study you look at. The IRS confirms this. Still lopsided, but a FAR cry from the 99% you stated)I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteOh, and by the way, to get into that top 1%, you have to have an income of more than $343,000. Hardly middle class, but hardly a millionaire.
And a VAST majority of that 1% are people like doctors, dentists, school administrators, small business owners, insurance agents and actuaries, rocket scientists, and non-profit executives. They're all assholes?
Yet you say that the 1% "could give a crap about anyone in the 99%" and go onto rant about them not caring if millions got gassed. And that, according to YOU is the truth.
You want truth? Here's some truth. Your gross blanket statements (based on a lot of incorrect data, by the way) is cut from the same hateful cloth as the daycare worker not wanting to care for the dark skinned child.
You are basing your venom on unfounded and incorrect "truths" and then cutting a pretty massive swath of resentment and hatred onto a group of people made up of individuals that you probably didn't stop to think actually belonged to that group.
I hope you appreciate my honesty and not bowing down to kiss your ass on your blog.
And I hope you have the guts to keep my comment above on here.
ReplyDeletePeople need to know that your TRUTH about 1% of Americans controlling 99% of the assets is inaccurate.
Truth is what we choose to see. And there have been rapes, beatings, overdoses, a couple suicides...all WITHIN the Occupiers' camps. Often refusing to allow EMT and ambulances into the camps to care for those hurt.
How about the 70+ year old woman assaulted by Occupiers. Does that "fascinate" you too?
Or how about the string of small businesses negatively affecting by the camps. Business owners not even in that top 1% you hate so much, not able to do business because of the masses of protesters.
Or those facilities owned by regular people that were just TRASHED by the Occupiers.
You have this glorified view of the Occupiers.
Here's one universal truth - there's always two sides to everything.
@Jay: I appreciate your honesty Jay. Thank you. It's kinda funny too.
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Alex, most people can't handle the truth. And expressing the truth about how you feel is different than expressing the truth of what you think about others.
ReplyDeleteSomewhere in all the questing for truth, there has to be room for kindness.
Sometimes truth is mean. And that is where people run into problems. I'm opposed to lying, but I'm also opposed to meanness. I'm sort of with Thumper's mother on this one. If you can't say something nice (and truthful) don't say anything at all.
This post is good food for thought.
I'm almost always honest in what I say at the time I say it. It's just that sometimes I change my mind afterwards...
ReplyDeleteCool.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind a debate, as long as we're not just making up shit.
I've been blogging too long to be an ass kisser on here.
@Jay: I updated my post above with your comment on the correction to the statistic I posted. You are absolutely correct. As a disclaimer, I wrote the 99% at midnight and I knew it was around 50% but the numbers got stuck in my head as I was cranking out a post. I didn't bother to proofread very carefully and just hit publish. My mistake.
ReplyDeleteOn the comment about my "venom". I don't think that my words are so much venom as a statement that I would like people to be more honest in their interactions with me and others. Many have pointed out on this post that absolute truth is harmful. I agree. But I certainly could handle more truth in my life than what I'm getting.
My example of pointing out the OWS was not so much to point out that I approve of the way they are protesting. They are destroying property, they lack focus, they lack a plan to fix what they are protesting against, etc. I honestly don't expect anything to come of their efforts. However, I think that at the root of the discontent in what Republicans call "class warfare" is the truth of vast income inequality. Why does it have to be this way? Now I use the word "many" but not "all" in the 1%. I think that makes my opinion on the 1% relevant. The vitriol that I've seen from those that are most vocal especially on conservative talk shows leads me to believe that there is very little sympathy for the poor. In fact, it borders on contempt. It's not a huge leap to go from contempt to hatred, right?
I don't have a glorified view of the OWS'ers. But I do see what they are protesting against. It's difficult to define and difficult to solve. But the truth behind their movement exposes an ugly fact about some of the greediest individuals in our country.
I think Jay might be in the 1% group.
ReplyDeleteI don't like hypocrisy, but I do like social lying. I've had people tell me what other people have said about me and I would rather have not known. I would rather think everyone thinks I am wonderful!
I would also say that if pedophiles announce to the world what they are and go live in Asia, then Asian kids are being harmed, so it doesn't help. But if they would be honest and say it to themselves and go to a therapist or get an operation or pills to help themselves. Yes, that honestly would help them and others. Those men are being dishonest with themselves by thinking what they do is "okay".
I used to wonder why the hell my father went to church when he didn't really love God or live a good life at all. It still baffles me. He did stop going later on in life. But he was one who would rant about sex sins while doing it himself! I think of that kind of life as Bizzaro World.
As for bigots spouting off their real feelings? I do think that would be good so they can all hang around each other and leave us alone. At least everyone would know what they are dealing with.
As you can see Michael, this is a huge subject for me. Being raised in a household of lies has made me a bit weird. I think the lies told you at work and by other people have been terrible. I hope you find some good people in your life who you can love and people who will love you - and no lying.
This is so long, go ahead and delete it if you want.
But the language you used was even more inflammatory that the right-wingers on their radio shows.
ReplyDeleteBut even among those in the 1%, it's a big fat pyramid. WAY more at the bottom than at the top. So I wouldn't even say it's "many." I think it's the vocal few spewing their contempt for the rest of us "poor" people.
Even if we took every single penny from every single millionaire and billionaire in this country, it still wouldn't even pay off our national debt!
The free market and true capitalism will never see it's full bloom until it's fair. That's what many protesters are asking for. And I can't agree more.
But heck, even those right-winger show hosts give a lot to charity. Even if it's just for the sake of a tax deduction. In fact, academic studies on the subject empirically show that Republicans give a higher percentage of their earnings than Democrats. And they give something even more important to charities: their time. They volunteer more as well.
I would say that the greediest individuals you're talking about is a barely an electron-sized group. But yeah, they are freaking loud.
And no, I'm not a Republican.
And no, I'm not in the 1%, Belle.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the 54% of people that pay income taxes. And I'm tired of bailing out corporations and big banks.
And I'm tired of the craziness on the Far Right and Left getting all the attention.
I don't think I'm that much different that a big majority of Americans.
So maybe after all the truth can set us free. Me, I waffle between habitual little lies and bluntness. I know that Eugene O'Neill said something about both the necessity and damage of illusions and wrote brilliantly about them, but I couldn't find the quote. So here's what Harold Bloom said about the subjects of O'Neill's plays: “humanity's desperate need for a life-sustaining illusion to lessen the despair of soul-destroying reality”
ReplyDelete@Jay: I don't think my language is as inflammatory. Here are some quotes so that you can see in their own words what right-wingers have said:
ReplyDelete"I tell people don't kill all the liberals. Leave enough so we can have two on every campus - living fossils - so we will never forget what these people stood for." - Rush Limbaugh
"My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the New York Times building." - Ann Coulter, New York Observer
"Homosexuals want to come into churches and disrupt church services and throw blood all around and try to give people AIDS and spit in the face of ministers." - Pat Robertson
"[Obama] wouldn’t have been voted president if he weren’t black. Somebody asked me over the weekend why does somebody earn a lot of money have a lot of money, because she’s black. It was Oprah. No, it can’t be. Yes, it is. There’s a lot of guilt out there, show we’re not racists, we’ll make this person wealthy and big and famous and so forth…. If Obama weren’t black he’d be a tour guide in Honolulu or he’d be teaching Saul Alinsky constitutional law or lecturing on it in Chicago." –Rush Limbaugh
"I went down this morning to sign up my Dog for welfare.
At first the lady said, "Dogs are not eligible to draw welfare".
So I explained to her that my Dog is black, unemployed, lazy, can't speak
English and has no frigging clue who his Daddy is.
So she looked in her policy book to see what it takes to qualify...
My Dog gets his first check Friday.
Is this is a great country or what?" -- Virginia Beach (Va.) Republican Committee Chairman David Bartholomew
"HAPPY NIGGER DAY!!!" -- Chris Hightower, former campaign manager for Kentucky Republican senatorial nominee Rand Paul, on his MySpace page on Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday
"The things that have happened in this country - where it really started to go wrong was in the leadup to the Civil War, and it became politicized, and it was all about slavery. Before then we were moving on the right track." – Glenn Beck
"To me it’s a sort of feeling that [overlooking slavery is] just a nit. That it is not significant. It’s trying to make a big deal out of something that doesn’t matter for diddly."-- Mississippi Republican Gov. Haley Barbour
"[T]here is no equality. You cannot guarantee that any two people will end up the same. And you can't legislate it, and you can't make it happen. You can try, under the guise of fairness and so forth, but some people are self-starters, and some people are born lazy. Some people are born victims. Some people are just born to be slaves." – Rush Limbaugh
"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed. You're facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don't think too much further than that. And so what you've got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don't know any better." -- South Carolina Republican Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, speaking about people receiving government assistance
These are loud voices and they have tons of followers that love what they spew. Just sayin' I don't think the language I used is as inflammatory. I'm just drawing a conclusion based off of what I've heard. What I've said above is the same as pointing at a venomous snake and saying, "That snake may bite you, and if so, you could die." It's more or less opinion extrapolated from the political hate-speech rhetoric popularized by the conservatives of America.
Did you see Galaxy Quest? That alien race didn't lie.
ReplyDeleteI try not to lie, especially around my kids. I don't want them to learn how to lie from me.
I'm sure many people take offense over parts of this post. After our e-mail exchanges, you know nothing offends me.
There's a lot of ugly now, especially in politics - distorting the truth - scaring people. It's sad.
Imagine if politicians had to be honest...
I don't know how anyone in good conscience can be a Republican. As Elrond said to Gandolf about the dwarves, "They hide in their mountains seeking riches, they care nothing for the troubles of others."
ReplyDeleteMichael:
ReplyDeleteIf I tell you I liked this post would you think I was lying, 'cause I'm not. And thanks for stopping by Chubby Chatterbox and leaving your comments. I'll be coming back here again to catch up on your unvarnished truths.
Interesting post. I want to write something more, but I'm kind of tired after a long day, and I'm not in the mood to think. (How's that for truth?)
ReplyDeleteThere's so much here to comment on, and I just don't have the time for it at the moment. And most of it wouldn't add anything to the conversation that hasn't already been said.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think the root cause of most lying is that the vast majority of people can't be honest with themselves. They tell themselves lies all the time to make themselves feel better about themselves. They rationalize behavior so they can pretend the things they do are okay. If you can't be honest with yourself, you certainly can't be honest with other people.
I agree--people do too much lying.
ReplyDeleteI quite enjoyed The Invention of Lying... it was done well. And I can't agree more... the truth can hurt, but like your example with the daycare, I'd rather know that up front as well. Good post.
ReplyDeleteWow - look at all the comments! Great Post!
ReplyDeleteAnd - I love this "Go through life and sin a lot. Otherwise, Jesus died for nothing."
Thank goodness that waste of human flesh let go of caring for that child rather than to have the poor thing feel all the hatred toward him/her. I have 4 children. We're all white (not that it matters,) and if anyone mistreated my child...well suffice it to say I'd be comfortable in a jumpsuit behind some bars.
Kudos to your friend for finding a caring environment for their CHILD... it is, after all, an innocent child. Sorry, it just burns my ass a bit.
As far as lying, you're right. My girlfriend met me at my house before seeing my husband's band play. She took one look at me and said, "Are you going to the F&*king library to study?" I changed. And THAT'S why she's one of my closest friends!
The truth can hurt. The truth can set you free...Powerful post, and I agree completely. There are many things in my life that might have gone differently with complete honesty. (Of course I would probably be living under a bridge begging for spare change right now!) But, I agree...fake people are not worth the time of day.
ReplyDelete*Facepalm*
ReplyDeleteIt irks me to hear stories like that, about the caregiver. I mean, really? But you are right. At least she was honest about it. No need for any child to be in an environment like that.
And thanks for the discussion, Michael and Jay. I don't get to catch the news much so it's good to see more on the Occupy Wall Street as I'm catching up on reading blogs.
The art of good story telling is being a great lair ... but I interact as honestly as possible when I'm about in the real world.
And I am buying your book, Michael. Will have pics to prove it! :)
Wow. I enjoyed the movie too. Being absolutely honest provides no evolutionary advantage that I can think of, in fact, being social creatures means that it would probably put someone at a disadvantage. It's more likely that we've been bred to be liars. It's in our genes.
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, I'd love it if everyone where totally honest. It would make relationships so much better, really. Reading this is like a breath of fresh air. Thanks.
Sometimes I wish I could lie better, as it would be helpful in certain social situations. For example, working in retail.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I am proud of my honesty. I think it's an admirable trait, if not always a useful one.
As an aside, don't you hate it when you come back from the bathroom and someone says, "You were in there a long time."
I mean really. What are you supposed to say to that?
I can't believe incidents like the one at that day care still happen. Will we never learn anything from history?
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