I'm sure the boys who were victimized by Sandusky in the Penn State scandal felt really good about themselves prior to their molestation because something beautiful had finally come into their lives through the Second Mile charity. The same goes for the Horace Mann School which got a tell-all expose written in the New York Times this week from author Amos Kamil. It's a long article, but I couldn't tear my eyes away. By the time I'd finished reading, I just about threw up in my mouth.
If you haven't read the New York Times article, please do so unless real life details of pedophilia and boys being raped by the teachers that they trusted offends you. It's horrific what happened to those kids in that place of such great beauty and promise. You can find it HERE. I guess the same can be said nationwide as more and more of these stories surface from elite schools, athletic institutions, churches, and scout troops.
In an interview on NPR this week, comedian Joan Rivers (I like Joan...say what you will about how fake she looks...I think she's a good person and keeps it real) said in defense of all of her plastic surgeries something akin to, "We live in a society where appearance is everything."
Do you agree with that statement? I know that I do. Just living in Salt Lake City, my ears get bombarded with advertisements to remove unwanted hair, to get liposuction, and to basically create a better you. I want to ask...what was wrong with the natural you? Is the way I am or the way you are not good enough anymore?
And then there's the other thought that creeps into my mind. As a society, are our children growing up in a world where they are learning that if something is beautiful, that it is inherently good and should be trusted? If so, I think that this is a terrible mistake.
Can you think of specific examples where something beautiful ended up being something evil? Is your villain in your book beautiful?
Do you judge a book's goodness by the beauty of its cover? And if so, have you ever been surprised by the "sour grapes"?
I absolutely judge a book by its cover. There have been rare instances where I have been wrong, but generally I see a correlation between the care taken in the writing and the care taken in choosing cover art.
ReplyDeleteWith people it gets strange. Yes, there are loads of exceptions, but there does seem to often be something about the person's character that reflects in their face. A person with a sour personality often has a sour face and so forth. Like I said, you can't judge that way because there are too many exceptions, but I'm never surprised to see how many people do conform to my initial impression based on their faces.
I try not to judge by beauty. It's hard to fight the automatic cultural tendencies. I have often found a quick conversation can sway my opinion rather than an appearance. I think funny and caring is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteVillains are often shown as beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's so much as something that is beautiful is good as one must be beautiful to be accepted. We've become quick to judge based on appearance alone.
It is frightening how much emphasis the media places on looks and how we are all bombarded. (And ironic that they just announced obesity has reached epidemic proportions. Go figure.)
What's wrong with natural beauty? Absolutely nothing.
What a thought-provoking post. I absolutely agree that there is too much emphasis on outward appearance, and also in general that too many people make snap judgements on things without taking time to examine them.
ReplyDeleteI've read too many attractive books that ended up being disappointing to judge a book by its cover any more!
See, now you know why my heroes are never overly beautiful.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes, and yes. I do judge a book by its cover, but if a book is recommended to me I don't. I do believe it is a struggle for children now days to see the inner beauty in things. Well said.
ReplyDeleteThis is a pretty interesting topic. I recently had a conversation about how a lot of serial killers get away with doing awful things simply because they are attractive and people assume that means they must be good. It's really sad that we are so focused on looks in society. I wish it was different. Also, thank you so much for the amazing review you gave Nightfire! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I could read that article because it would seriously disturb me for days. It's sad those things happen so often. I can't think of any examples (perhaps because I'm trying to stay out of depression) but there are a lot out there.
ReplyDeleteYes, I'll judge a book by its cover but a less than gorgeous cover won't keep me from reading it.
ReplyDeleteI really do try not to judge people by their covers though.
I could go on and on about this topic. It makes me physically ill and terrifies me because I have 3 little children to send out in the world. And as much as I try to teach them that being yourself is what truly counts, they are constantly bombarded with the world telling them otherwise. It's horrible!!!
ReplyDeleteI don't think this is a new problem. Throughout history, evil has always been depicted as ugly and good as beauty.
ReplyDeleteWe forget that Lucifer was the most beautiful creation that God made and that angels were constantly saying "don't be afraid," and, if you've ever read a description of an angel from the Bible, you'll get why they said that.
People don't want it to be that way, though. People want it to be easy. People want to "judge the book by its cover" no matter what that "book" might be.
I've always felt that it's in evil's best interest to be appealing.
ReplyDeleteI've been following the Sandusky trial and it's tough stuff to read. It's hard to hear about that. But people are speaking out about something horrible that happened to them, something they feel ashamed of, and that takes courage. And that's why I read these things; because people are speaking up about something that needs to be heard.
A book's beautiful cover encourages me to pick it up--but I'd only really take it home with me if I actually think the blurb and the first chapter is interesting.
ReplyDeleteNutschell
www.thewritingnut.com
Hi, Michael.
ReplyDeleteMAN, have you said a mouthful here...
Living and working with the "Beautiful" people more than half my life one does get sucked in.... It's only natural.
I, myself have been seduced by many types of beauty and have been often burned to the core by it. Unfortunately I am a LOVER of beauty, it's in my nature.
But now that I am older and hopefully wiser, I will look beyond the stunning veneer.
As always, Michael, an mind evoking post.
I'm suspicious of beauty most times. That's why the big bad in my WIP is movie star handsome.
ReplyDeleteBut I try not to judge based only on appearance. I don't always succeed, but I try.
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ReplyDeleteIf you are looking for the best recaps of what is going on in the Sandusky story (and I can understand why many might not want to do this), Dan Wetzel at Yahoo is doing the best work. Heartbreaking stuff.
ReplyDeletehttp://sports.yahoo.com/author/dan-wetzel/
Former Penn State linebacker LaVar Arrington wrote an article in the Washington Post with this quote:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/hard-hits/post/i-wish-id-paid-more-attention-to-one-young-mans-pain/2012/06/12/gJQAkgviXV_blog.html
"...it’s mind-blowing to realize that a kid I took an active interest in during my time at school was suffering right in front of me and I had no idea that the pain allegedly came from someone in my own football program."
We are often blinded by our hurried lifes that we rarely take the time to look beyond the surface. The Sandusky case is an extreme example of where that can lead.
ah beauty, it shows how shallow we all are if we examine ourselves. Especially if someone is the designer of female video game characters.
ReplyDeleteOkay, A: I always (FIRST) judge a book by its cover. If the cover appeals to me, that increases the odds that what's inside will appeal to me because that means that the author and publisher and me have at least one thing in common: we all think the cover is good.
ReplyDelete"Judging a book by its cover" though means more than just "do I like the cover and therefore pick up the book." It means to ONLY judge a book by the cover, regardless of what's inside.
I don't think we're any different than any other era of human society in terms of judging people/things by their looks. You can't tell me that in 1810 people were entirely unconcerned with who was good looking or who was not. It's just that we find different reasons for thinking something is good looking or not, nowadays. We're no more superficial than we ever were.
While on that subject, people like Joan Rivers, who insist on trying to look younger, ought NOT to be idolized. You say she "keeps it real," but she absolutely does NOT, if she's getting plastic surgery.
Joan lives in a society where appearance is a great deal of the number of things, but not everything. Outside of that society (Hollywood) appearance matters much less and in people worth caring about, appearance matters only as much as a book cover does: It may make an initial impression but that initial impression can be overcome.
Sure, people judge by looks, but only stupid people ONLY judge by looks, and good riddance to them. I had a guy once try to fire me as a lawyer (I'd been appointed) because I "looked too young." He didn't care what my ideas or skills were; he thought I was too young. (Ah, those were the days.)
I won his case (the judge didn't let him fire me), and maybe he learned a little something. But the fact that he was so stupid tells you why he was in trouble in the first place.
I judge peoples appearances by how well they try to take care of themselves: do they try to exercise and stay in shape (even if they're not, totally), do they wear clothing that is appropriate, that kind of thing. People who go to extremes like plastic surgery I judge as lower on the ladder of worthiness, because they expose themselves as primarily concerned about looks. Caring too much about what's on the outside reveals a near-certain lack of anything on the inside. (I believe the same about tattoos and too many piercings.)
But I can proudly say I've never refused to talk to someone, hire someone, or work for someone, based on an appearance they could have avoided.
I suppose the greatest example is Dorian Gray, whose beauty was directly opposed to the wickedness in his heart (at least to Victorian sensibilities, hedonism was nothing but vice).
ReplyDeleteI suppose the greatest example is Dorian Gray, whose beauty was directly opposed to the wickedness in his heart (at least to Victorian sensibilities, hedonism was nothing but vice).
ReplyDeleteFunny you should mention it becasue my MC actually falls for the bad guy becasue of his beauty, but later she understands what a horrible person he actually is. I know what you mean about those billboards too. I am so sick of seeing them and hearing on the radio about hair removal. Has society really come to this? It makes me sad.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college the general requirements included a sociology class, so my roommate and I did a joint presentation on "The Beauty Culture." Sad thing is, it seems that since then society has gotten even worse on expectations of physical beauty and excess grooming (I LIKE chest hair on men, damn it!) maybe because of the advances in plastic surgery procedures and lasers and so on. This is one reason why I like watching a few British TV shows and movies because some of their actors look more like real people instead of Hollywood ideals.
ReplyDeleteI read those NY Times pieces and as with you, Michael, they made me physically ill -- I can only quickly scan the latest ones on the Sandusky trial because the details are so revolting.
The villains in my novel are okay looking. Rather than describing them as handsome or ugly, I try to convey their characters in their faces, but the trouble is like most evil people they know how to disguise what lurks within. Alas, I did succumb to literary pressures and made my two main protagonists attractive. But at least one friend told me, "Thanks for not describing Layla's breasts" because she was so sick of that in some books. I told her of course I didn't because L's breasts had nothing to do with the action.
@Jaimie: Excellent example. I hadn't thought of the Dorian Gray connection.
ReplyDelete@Briane P: "Keeping it real" means that the person speaks frankly (blunt) and doesn't hide how they truly feel. Joan does this.
I think books and human beings are different in the sense that the cover of a book will remain the same year after year ( unless the new publication would have it differently)and human beings change over the course of time.
ReplyDeleteThe thing about beauty is that youth makes a lot of us look nice. Old age and bad health can make a big difference and make up can do the trick a lot of times.
A lot of times we get hurt by pretty people because we tend to forget that some pretty people use their looks for their own advantage.
A very thought provoking post. Yes, people are swayed by "beauty," however (as you say) physical beauty doesn't necessarily equate to a good person.
ReplyDeleteI think Tolstoy was correct - we humans buy into the illusion. Sometimes beauty is good, but sometimes wicked hearts can be wrapped in pretty packages. Learning to tell the difference is part of life's journey.
ReplyDeleteI will admit that a good book cover gets my attention, but I don't judge people the same way. Most of us aren't pretty anyway...lol.
ReplyDeleteBeauty and authority are both dangerous things to trust---especially when it preys on those least able to defend themselves.
ReplyDeleteThat article is horrendous. The things we do to each other is ugly.
ReplyDeleteWe put way too much emphasis on physical beauty. But it's not the only value that's messed up.
It'd be great if we were taught to see beauty in everyone and learn to value everyone. Equality.
well given the fact that I had liposuction last week, I guess I do agree this world is all about looks :) I hate it, but it is true.
ReplyDeleteI do know a lot of gorgeous people who are shallow and empty, and often pompous and snobbish, so I guess beauty isn't always goodness, if we are talking about outside beauty. But I also did notice that when you are good, people think you're beautiful even when you don't fit the beauty standards.
Thanks for stopping by my blog Michael and I liked the Dorian Gray comparison. I believe that beauty really is as beauty does. It is terrible when a trust is broken. Praying for the victims and all others that are affected by these horrific crimes.
ReplyDeleteTerrific post. I couldn't agree more about what you say.
ReplyDeleteThere seem to be plenty of examples in nature of plants and animals that, while appealing to human eyes, are downright deadly, to answer your first question.
ReplyDeleteSometimes my villains are beautiful; rarely they're completely ugly. I like playing with that perception of beauty as goodness and presenting the antagonists as attractive.
I'm guilty of judging by the cover. I recognize it and fight it whenever I can. I try not to make my characters too beautiful, but that's another fight.
ReplyDeleteYou've written very well about an unpleasant subject. I've long thought that as a society our ideas about ugliness and beauty were skewered. Something you didn't mention is that pretty people are offered better jobs and earn more money than average-looking folks.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say appearance is everything, but it is a whole awful lot. And it's not just beauty. When we dress down or dumpy, we're saying that we don't think we're good enough to look better or we're making a statement that we don't care enough about the world to look nice for them or this or that. How we look on the outside is only the surface but it does reflect us. I think it's similar to a house. When you look on the outside, you have no way of knowing what's happening on the inside. But if you examine it, the size and cost and upkeep and prized rose bushes, you can start to get an idea of what's inside. Never the whole picture, but it's a start.
ReplyDeleteMy girlfriend and I were just having this discussion! After divorce from douche #1, I was left to the dating scene. I would talk with someone who I found drop dead gorgeous. . . until they opened their mouth.
ReplyDeleteLooks matter, but when you take the rose colored glasses off, you're left with what's real.
Inner beauty is what counts but it isn't always obvious right away, sometimes you have to crack the outer shell to get at it.
ReplyDeleteBut I don't think we can get away from seeing outer beauty as important when we are such a visual society...
I read the article. It’s horrifying and what kills me is knowing this sort of thing happens more than we know. I have two young children and I wish I could protect them from all the evils on this planet and shield them from the crap I had to go through. Talking about it is definitely a step in the right direction. And I agree with the statement “We live in a society where appearance is everything.” We tend to forgive the beautiful for their transgressions easier than if they looked like the Beast. It’s unfair and I don’t want my kids judging people on appearance alone, people should be judged by their actions. Which reminds me how in the States we are taught to see everyone as good until they prove themselves unworthy (The Big Bird / Barney approach). In France, the attitude is just the opposite. Be cautious of everyone until they prove themselves trustworthy. I’m starting to agree more with the latter.
ReplyDeleteWe've all heard of cat-fights at beauty pageants.
ReplyDeleteYou certainly were on a roll Michael. But, I found your post very thoughtful. As far as the Joan River's quote (I like her), "We live in a society where appearance is everything," I believe it true for some people. Not everyone, and certainly not me and a lot of my friends. If you're got up in the glamour of the world, then that will be your reality. I've always been more interested in understanding and living truth in my life. That's my reality.
ReplyDeleteI read the NY Times article. It was so painful to read. Just horrible.
ReplyDeleteThere was another story that broke this week about the Boy Scouts having to open their "Perversion" files to the public.
Makes me sick.
I am very cynical when it comes to connecting beauty with good- probably due to my middle school nightmares or having the popular girls all ruling the roost and doing EVERYTHING (first string in BBall, first choice in the Jazz Choir, first chair in band-- you get the point) and not having time to be friends with the peons (of which I always felt I was a part). Plus I live in a city where most of the population is absolutely obsessed with being in shape. They won't wear a suit to the theater or opera, practically go barefoot to posh restaurants, but they look MAHVELOUS dahling!
ReplyDeleteSee?? completely cynical.
I liked that the beautiful one in The Golden Compass was evil. And she wasn't using some potion to make her beautiful, like in some stories. Same with Snow White. It's rare. Tom Riddle was good looking for a while, but then he became Voldemort.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with your comment about Joan Rivers. Yes, looks to count for a lot. People are too obsessed. I like to keep up with my skin, but that doesn't mean Botox, and I'd never consider getting plastic surgery. We age. That's life.
The Hunger Games takes plastic surgery to an extreme. So does Uglies. They raise interesting questions about beauty.