Ladies and gents...it has been a quarter of a year already! Yowsa.
So here's my November 2011 insecurity about writing. It's this:
I know I'm not the only one. I've seen writers blog about their Big Six publishers and bemoan that their book is going straight to paperback. I have a mid-size publisher...but the way they do business is based on what works for them with a ten year history. I see how others do business, and it seems a smidgen ass-backwards, but I tell myself that I'm just being insecure. Just because other people have things doesn't mean that this is the best way. Why do I always compare what I have to what other people have? I need to be more appreciative of what I've achieved.
But it's hard. I guess I always find myself from time-to-time looking at what another person has gotten and asking why I don't have the same thing.
So if I or anyone else can take away anything from this post, it's this: We're never happy with what we have and only interested in what we lack. Awareness is everything.
Jealousy is sometimes a very evil creature, which is why I push it to the far back of my mind. I understand what you are saying though.
ReplyDeleteI feel the same, but I try to convince myself it provides motivation. I'm not sure how I'd ever get anything done if I was a Buddhist.
ReplyDeletemood
Moody Writing
The Funnily Enough
A perfect example of human nature, I guess.
ReplyDeleteI am not that person who can give advice about this topic but I just can say that I have seen many examples of books which first have been published by an incredibly small agent but became very popular. I still think the promotion and agent doesn't have a big role. If a book is loved, it will be approved by people. That's my opinion :) Good luck!
ReplyDeleteSo true, and we never think about how green our grass must look to someone else who'd really like to be in the place we're in now. Dunno what it is in our makeup that makes us unable to relish the present moment in the journey.
ReplyDeleteGood food for thought.
Hear hear. Right now, I'm looking at you and going, 'Who is he to complain? He has a publishing deal!'
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, someone else might be looking at me and going, 'Who is she to complain? She has a full draft of a manuscript!'
It's human nature to compare, but as long as we remain conscious that we're doing it and pull ourselves up if we start having a pity party, I don't think we need to worry about it too much. :-)
It can be hard not to look at what others have got in life and wonder, why not me? That way of thinking can run you into the ground though. So, I say give yourself a block of time to hate on everyone that has stuff that you don't in life, then after that block of time is up get back to being normal Michael.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, when I put it that way it kind of sounds stupid. But, whatever works for you.
I'm never jealous about someone's success...just their passion to push. I fizzle sometimes.
ReplyDeleteThe grass is always greener somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one. It's not about other people for me, it's more about myself. Always another mountain to climb. Stop and smell the bleedin' roses why don't you, debs.
ReplyDeleteI'm only ever jealous of what you have, Michael.:)
ReplyDeleteGood post Michael.
ReplyDeleteSeeing the success of others, and then translating their experiences to where you use your own talents to achieve is rewarding but a work in progress for me.
I'm guilty of that too. Lately, though, I've started to let go of some of that ambition and begin to feel better about just being me and enjoying the journey I'm on.
ReplyDeleteWow, deep, huh? Jealous? :)
I once saw a list of ways a writer can make themselves miserable. Comparing themselves to other writers was at the top.
ReplyDeleteBut, I think jealously can be good too. It lets you know what you should be doing.
If I were the religious type I may quote something about coveting...nah.
ReplyDeleteI think it is normal to envy someone's success, so long as you're not obsessing. Who doesn't want to gain the success as Meyers or Rowling or the notoriety of King? That's one of the reasons we take the leap into publishing.
Jealousy can be helpful if you use it in a constructive way!
LOVE this. You got me thinking this morning. What you said is so true. :)
ReplyDeleteSo true. I try my best to keep my eyes on my own writing road. Heaven knows it's full of bumps and ditches. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe grass is greener on the other side effect is why that pesky commandment tells us not to covet. This is the hardest for most, even writers. : )
ReplyDeletesuch a truth!
ReplyDeletemy kids hav that bad!! i hate xmas time, they are so spoiled! we really need to do a shelter down town this year.
but this is one problem i dont generally have, thank goodness. i've got enough other things to worry about. as long as the fam is good, i'm happy. publish or no (just a paperback would be awesome!)
So true, Michael. You are not alone in this, my friend. :D
ReplyDeleteI try to make a conscious effort to appreciate what I have and not dwell on what I don't, be it material things or my the level I'm at with writing, but it isn't easy.
Why do we focus on the smaller # of negatives regardless of of all the positives around us?
Yes, it must start with awareness.
ReplyDeleteHOW TO FEEL MISERABLE AS AN ARTIST:
1. Constantly compare yourself to others.
2. Talk to your family about what you do and expect them to cheer you on.
3. Base the success of your entire career on one product.
4. Stick with what you know.
5. Undervalue your expertise.
6. Let money dictate what you do.
7. Bow to societal pressures.
8. Only do work that your family would love.
9. Do whatever the client/customer/gallery owner/patron/publisher asks
10. Set unachievable/overwhelming goals. To be accomplished by tomorrow.
I'm still working on this list. Bowing to societal pressures seems to be my worst one at the moment.
Ahh..that's the list I remember.
ReplyDeleteAnd knowing...
ReplyDeleteis half the battle.
What's this grass stuff, anyway? Can you eat it?
Yes, really, I do have to give the smart-grass answer.
ReplyDeleteI used to do this because I have a "samll", not dangerous :) mental illness. I was filled with envy of people who could keep a job etc. I now look back on my life and see that staying home raising my kids and helping raise my grandkids was the best thing I could do for them and for me. I wasted a lot of time felling less than.
ReplyDeleteExcellent post except finishing a manuscript is something that money cannot buy. I'm sure you appreciate everything Michael, but you want to be acknowledged for all your creativity. I hope it all works out.
ReplyDeleteThat is human nature. We are always looking at our own short comings. Some people do great by analysing themselves and exploring their potentials. I guess it can be good and bad depending on our situations and limits. Again Congrats and best wishes:)
ReplyDeleteInteresting post,makes me glad to be such an ornery loner. Thanks for the reminder.
ReplyDeleteWell said, Michael. It's nice to know I'm not alone in my writing insecurities.
ReplyDeleteAs a self-pubber, I don't have much, but I'm free, oh yes, I'm free. Sing it!
ReplyDeleteYou and I were on the same wavelength today!
ReplyDeleteA quarter of your life? Please. Double that and you'll know what I'm soon to experience.
And get excited about your small publisher. We're in the right place, man!
This is a tricky one. I think I could write a blog post of my own all about it.
ReplyDeleteI guess the trick is to focus on gratitude for what you (I) do have. If you spend your time comparing yourself to others, you end up focusing on the lack rather than noticing what you do have...
My brain isn't working real well today. I can't think.
That is so true. We always long for what we lack and although I try to change that, it's so difficult. I'm glad I'm not the only one going through it.
ReplyDeleteWe should only compare ourselves, to ourselves. We will be happy at our progress. There's no need for jealousy.
ReplyDeleteI let you an award: http://brookerbusse.blogspot.com/2011/11/like-polar-express-but-better.html :D
Someone once said to me, "We look at what other people have (money, book deals, etc.) and compare ourselves downward (why can't I have what he has? like you said) but in our behavior we look at others and then compare ourselves upward" ("if only you would think this then you'd be a better person (like me)" or "if you'd just stop being so... (fill in the blank: irrational, picky, disorganized) you'd be a better person (like me). No one is as good as we are when we compare how we react or behave and we never have enough when we compare what we have to what others have. It's a terrible irony. And it's terribly human. All this comparing- how do we get anything done?
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