On Monday, September 19, post a list of up to ten of the
worst movies you’ve ever had the misfortune to watch. Films that just oozed
awfulness and featured plot holes so big you could drive a bus through them.
Any genre or year, but only theater and straight to video/DVD titles.
(Otherwise we’d all list every movie ever made by the SyFy Channel!) Sign up,
grab the button, and on September 19, give us the worst! And be sure to visit
others participating in the blogfest.
My pick for worst movie ever is The Human Centipede. Here's the plot:
Two American college girls become the subjects of a sadistic medical experiment while on a road trip across Europe. Invited to a party by a handsome waiter, Jenny and Lindsay are en route to the festivities when their car breaks down in the middle of nowhere. Desperate, they decide to seek help on foot, eventually coming across the home of a retired surgeon named Dr. Heiter (Dieter Laser). Dr. Heiter is internationally renowned for his work on separating conjoined twins, but these days he's using his surgical skills for something entirely different. His goal is to create a human centipede by removing his patient's kneecaps, and sewing them together, mouth-to-anus. The only thing preventing Dr. Heiter from carrying out his experiment is a lack of human subjects. When Jenny and Lindsay arrive on his doorstep, Dr. Heiter enthusiastically begins prepping for surgery.
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| Get the picture? |
The Human Centipede is a terrible film. But I'm not going to explain why it is terrible. Rather I'm going to just paraphrase what Roger Ebert has to say about this film:
I am required to award stars to movies I review. This time, I refuse to do it. The star rating system is unsuited to this film. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and occupies a world where the stars don't shine.
The only remarkable thing about The Human Centipede is that it has spawned all kinds of memes. Even Southpark did an episode called the Human Centipad (which ended up being hilarious).
So yeah...save yourself about ninety minutes and avoid this film.
I don't want to believe this is a real movie. You made this up and produced a fake trailer, right?
ReplyDeleteRight?
Right!?!
I'm with Cacy on this. My eyes are burning just from reading your description.
ReplyDelete>_< That's the sort of movie no one could unsee.
I read about this a while ago when the fact that there was a sequel hit the news. I pride myself on being able to give most things a fair trial, but there was absolutely nothing about the description of this one that would induce me to watch it.
ReplyDeleteEeeewww! Why did I watch the trailer? *shiver*
ReplyDeleteOhh I've been warned not to go anywhere near this movie... think I will head that advice... can see why this is on your worst movie ever list.
ReplyDeleteMy god. So is it gore-porn like Hostel and Saw? Or something else? I love that description from Roger Ebert.
ReplyDelete*shudders* I think you made me throw up in my mouth, and I didn't even look at the trailer!!! UGH!!! Yeah, SO not seeing this movie. EVER. I appreciate the warning!
ReplyDeleteHow much did they pay the actors to humiliate themselves like that?
ReplyDeleteThat would be my choice as well. It was not only gross but really stupid. I mean what advantage does a human centipede have? It's slow, it requires so much maintenance, it's wimpy. At least the Frankenstein monster had a point to it. This just seemed like, "I'm going to make this stupid thing because I can!"
ReplyDeleteI saw the preview for it on a DVD rental and quickly hit the forward button. It's so disturbing, it makes you wonder what drugs the producers/writers/director are on. So bad.
ReplyDeleteWhoever produced this movie HAD to know there's an audience. THAT's the really sick part...some people love this kind of sadistic trash. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE was another such movie.
ReplyDeleteA few of my friends and I had the extreme misfortune of watching that movie the other night. When we reached the halfway marker, we decided we wanted something a bit more contemporary, and so we watched Grizzly Park. (Great film. A must-see.)
ReplyDeleteOh God. I was eating something when I read that summary...and now I don't want to eat any more. I'm all for the wacky ideas, but come on people. Like Em said, it has its audience. I'm just not that audience.
ReplyDeleteWow. Who in their right mind thought this was good idea. one of those times when you go, "really?"
ReplyDeleteShockalot.
ReplyDeleteLOLOL! Excellent choice. I liked the South Park spoof, but was still totally grossed out by the concept. Yuck-o!
ReplyDeleteAn old friend told me about this movie last spring. I didn't believe him. Then I saw the trailer...
ReplyDeleteOh, and why in the WORLD would you want to participate in such a film????? Blows my mind.
ReplyDeleteI've never seen this movie but I've heard of it and just the premise alone was enough to make me queasy.
ReplyDeleteCan't believe I missed out on this blogfest.
Wow. I'd think that should get spots 1 - 10 on anyone's list. I do like the cartoon illustration though. It's just that little bit extra crazy that I needed to convince me that movie is unfit for humanity.
ReplyDeleteI heard about this when it came out and just could not believe it. Some things should just not be made. Or thought about. Awful.
ReplyDeleteOh man, I've been trying to forget this movie ever since I saw it. It was disgusting, and a complete waste of my time to watch. Blech.
ReplyDeleteDude, that movie was SO bad. I watched it thinking it would be fun-bad...but no. It's a why-am-I-even-watching-this kind of bad. It's not scary. It's not really disgusting or anything. It's just a very bad idea with poor pacing and plotting. Good choice, Mike
ReplyDeleteSo every time I get this movie out of my head, someone else goes and rementions it. It's like this one disgusting joke I once heard that I won't pass on here, either.
ReplyDeleteI think, Michael, that you have killed off the "worst movie blogfest" by nominating the clear winner. I was going to say "Leprechaun in the Hood," but that's no competition.
I'm glad I never heard about this film...YUK!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm surprised someone other than me has seen this film! It's on my list too. It was terrible. I cringe when I think about it.
ReplyDeleteMakes we wonder what demented mind wrote that and the even crazier person who thought it would make a good movie. Being a dinosaur and all, I haven't seen this either - not that I'd be missing much! Yuck!
ReplyDeleteI think you should win this blogfest. This sounds like the WORST movie ever - I don't even want to watch the trailer, not only from what you have said about it, but just from the pic on front. Eek - and awful. Not watching!
ReplyDeleteMissed you at the writers conference AND... I just love the title for your blog BTW!
That sounds awful!!!
ReplyDeleteAn evil movie.
ReplyDeleteI can't watch many horror films without my anxiety kicking in, so I wouldn't be watching it anyway. That didn't stop my husband from watching it. I heard the entire movie. My ears are still bleeding.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone actually seen this movie? Did you watch it, Michael?
ReplyDeleteI certainly will not.
That's why I didn't watch it!
ReplyDeleteThanks for participating in the blogfest.
i'm so bummed i forgot about this blogfest. And Ebert's quote is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteWow! Now that was awful. I don't care how hungry I am. I'm not signing on to be in that film.
ReplyDeleteNot really the kind of movie I'd see anyway. Not my cup of Mozart. Got to love Ebert's quotes! :)
ReplyDeleteI heard the radio personalities talking about this one, and well there is just no way I'm watching it
ReplyDeleteOMG. And I thought Gigli was bad. The description of this is worse than the worst moments of that film. I'm thankful I didn't even watch the trailer.
ReplyDeleteOH. MY. GOODNESS. Um.. thanks for the heads up.. haha.. I've never heard of it... and after that, I'm definitely not watching it! ;)
ReplyDeleteYou are right, this is one amazingly sick and twisted concept.
ReplyDeleteThat is just gross. Reminds me of one I hate that some folks actually love called Tourista or something to that effect.
ReplyDeleteWow. I didn't even DARE watch the trailer. I would guess it'd be one of those things that burns itself into your memory and haunts you for the rest of your life. Lol!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I didn't see the trailer, judging by the comments here!
ReplyDelete♥.•*¨Elizabeth¨*•.♥
Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?
YA Paranormal Romance, Darkspell coming fall of 2011!
Um... I just want to know how it is you came to see this movie in teh first place. I'd never heard of it before today, and, now, I wish I hadn't.
ReplyDeleteI've never even heard of this movie. It looks terrible. So bad that I might have to get my hands on a copy for our next Game Night and put on the tv while we're playing!
ReplyDeleteI can't even bring myself to imagine this movie, let alone watch it! The director must have a warped mind. On a lighter note, looking forward to following your blog!
ReplyDeleteGross! :D So you were part of this blogfest too?
ReplyDelete------
Join me at the Rule of Three Writers' Blogfest!
I have never heard of this movie which, after reading your post, sounds like a good thing. :)
ReplyDeleteThe first time I heard about this movie it took everything I had not to throw up. After all this time I still have trouble not puking all over myself and I've never more than the description. My imagination works too well.
ReplyDeleteHa, thanks for the warning on this clunker. I have enjoy reading the selections from the many who participated in this topic.
ReplyDeleteEwww. I definitely won't be seeing that one.
ReplyDeleteCrikey. I want to unread your description.
ReplyDeleteDave
Dave Wrote This