Wednesday, January 7, 2015

The forecast for 2015 is writing and insecurity and reformed narcissism just in time to discuss the benefits of accepting failure

Today is Insecure Writer's Support Group day, which rolls around once a month. According to Alex J. Cavanaugh and his Monday post, I'm supposed to write a short introduction to myself and put it before my entry. So here it is:
Michael Offutt writes speculative fiction books that have science fiction, LGBT, and paranormal elements. His first book, Slipstream has received some critical acclaim and was published by Double Dragon in 2012. The sequel, Oculus, came out in November 2012. He has one brother, no pets, and a few roots that keep his tree of life sufficiently watered. By day, he works for the State of Utah as a Technical Specialist. By night, he watches lots of t.v., writes, draws, and sometimes dreams of chocolate. 
Michael Offutt graduated from the University of Idaho in 1994 with a Bachelor's degree in English.
I suppose what makes this particular installment of the Insecure Writer's Support Group special for me is the fact that it lands on January 7th, which is just in time to examine New Year's resolutions and to take a moment to talk about the dangers of "forecasting" and planning your life based on the whimsy of fortune-tellers.

I consider myself to be a person with his feet firmly planted on the ground. But I wasn't always this way, because I listened to people who probably believed (to some extent) that they could see the future. And it led me to many bad decisions, a lot of wasted time, and a little bit of heartache. The problem with depending on "forecasts" is that they often emerge from a place filled with desire, and it has little if nothing to do with the actual truth. For example, speculators who "short" the stock market forecast that the economy is going to do terrible, that everything is going to hell in a hand-basket, and that if you're smart you should just run for the hills and keep your money buried in a pot in the garden. In contrast, "bulls" will tell you that the economy is constantly improving, that companies are hiring more people than ever, and that if you're smart, you'll put all your money into stocks to join the party where there's nothing but Levian chocolate diamonds, caviar, and good will.

Relationship "experts" do this too with lonely single people who are looking for help in attracting a partner. They'll forecast that "You'll find love" if you just do this and this and this. But I think that a lot of people (myself included) will end up accomplishing the list of things that they're supposed to do and end up empty-handed. "Well obviously you missed doing this at this precise time," an advisor might say. Or they might fall back on the idiom "there are no guarantees in life," which you really can't argue with so you might as well not even try. For the record, that phrase really serves only one point: to end an argument, which makes sense because the person uttering that phrase probably has little investment in you anyway.

Is there a universal truth? How about "just because you believe in something it doesn't have to be true." To clarify, there's what you believe and then there are facts, and in this universe the best that any of us can do is to take a measurement and record what we observe ourselves in order to better understand what's going on around us.

The field of publishing is rife with forecasts. "This year publishers will be looking for dark fantasy." "Young adult dystopians are so out; historical romances are in." "Portal fiction is so 2010. Now it's magic systems; the more original, the better." "No one wants a guy as a protagonist.""Don't write in third person." "Don't write in first-person." And the advice goes on and on and on, all of it based on "forecasts" of what a person believes makes money.

I'm sure that any of you out there who have been writing for a while have seen the "forecasts" and have tried to adjust your writing so that you aren't caught without an umbrella on a rainy day. But the danger of doing this for me was that writing became less enjoyable. I realized I was trying to "publish" instead of trying to create something that I loved. Writing is a business, and it probably took me over two years to fully embrace this concept--that all that matters is that a story have the widest possible appeal in order to sell the most books and thereby make the most money. If you know someone with a big book contract, it's because a company is convinced that what that person has to offer is going to make them money. They don't even have to have read the story, and many of them probably don't even care to.

I think what I'm trying to say is this: forecasts make me insecure because I wonder if I'll ever be able to fit in. When I write, it's to create something for me with no regard to whether or not anyone else will like it. And to anyone that feels the same way I do, I would encourage you to learn to ignore forecasts when it comes to certain things (like writing) unless all you want to do is make money. If you don't do this, you may end up seriously compromising what you truly want to say. However, if making money is your primary goal, then you probably don't have my insecurity issues. Knowing what I do about the publishing business though, I'd still say that 1) you should probably consider something else because very few writers actually make decent money with their books, and 2) best of luck to you because one of the most narcissistic professions out there is being an author.

So yeah, I'm saying if you're trying to write, chances are you're a narcissist. I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but I do know that one of the things that a narcissist feeds upon is energy from others. If you're doing all this writing, and no one is reading it or proclaiming your brilliance, then you're probably not getting very much emotional energy in return, which ends up slowly bleeding you dry and making you a miserable person.

No one can tell you what the future holds. For me, overcoming my insecurity about the future brought me inner peace in the present. I consider myself a "reformed narcissist," a person that has learned to set achievable goals, to accurately measure many things including my own value, and to recognize that there is no formula that can make you "fit in" with the popular kids. As a result, I'd say growing comfortable with certain levels of failure can in fact be the healthiest thing some of us can do.

29 comments:

  1. I'm a narcissist? No wonder I want out of the publishing rat race.
    I ignore forecasts. They're like weathermen anyway.

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  2. Your title caught my eye! I write whatever I want. The trick of being a success is enjoying the ride. Publishing sure is a roller coaster, but I'm glad I bought a ticket.

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  3. I've listened to the fortune tellers too - the disappointments can be profound - but the lessons - insightful. We all want to know what the future holds, and sometimes forget that we're the only one who make it happen!
    If you're failing - aren't you moving forward. You can't fail if you don't try! Nice thing about the insecure group - we've all failed and can share that, then move on to success. I like Deborah's words - I'm glad I bought a ticket too.

    Happy New Year Michael!

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  4. I don't know if we're narcissists, but you do have to have an extra large ego to write and survive putting your work out there for public ridicule. Especially in this age of computer-driven anonymous animosity. But, yeah, there's no sanity to be found in chasing publishing forecasts.

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  5. It's pretty lame when agents go on their websites or Twitter and say what they want, because unless you have that sort of book written already, by the time you get it done, the agent will be on to wanting something else.

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  6. Happy New Year Michael! I've been called a lot of things. But a narcissist? I can now add that to the list.

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  7. @LG: Are you taking offense at my words? The opposite of narcissism is altruism. When taken to either extreme the person becomes dysfunctional. I would say that a drop or two of narcissism in a person is necessary for survival. I'm just asking writers to be truthful about what they do. Answer this: is there anything more narcissistic than writing down your thoughts and expecting the world to read and consume those thoughts? I'm not judging this, but simply pointing it out as an "observation." I don't think anyone that's really thought about it can argue that this is a narcissistic trait.

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  8. Brilliant post. Much of this has been on my mind the last year. I guess you could say I'm a "high-functioning narcissist," since I don't mind being told I'm awesome every now and then. Now that I've said it, Happy New Year, you awesome sir! :)

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  9. I'm of a mind that it's a good idea to keep your eye on what's selling (this is assuming that publication is your goal) but to not let that drive you.

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  10. Being called a narcissist would be an improvement over some of the things I've been called. I have no illusions about making money from my writing, but I would like to be read by a wider audience.

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  11. Finding that inner peace, that angle of repose in our lives is so important and so incredibly rewarding.

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  12. Gosh, I can so relate to most of your words in this post. The ones that hit me the hardest were those that spoke of wasted time by balancing my positive vibes on what others thought the future held. I so get that. #sigh It's hard to go it alone, at least on the emotional side of believing in oneself and accepting ones shortcomings. There are days I can do this, while other days ... yeah, not so much. And the whole - not getting much emotional energy in return from folks - whoa... Yup, I'm a narcissist. :) Thanks for sharing.

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  13. The only forecast in this business is it's unpredictable. Write what you love, because then you're passionate about it and it shows.

    I pay attention to business, but I'm not a slave to it. I write what I want to write. With that said, I do take my audience into account when constructing a story... yet if I disagree, I'll write what I choose. Definitely we have to enjoy the ride.

    I'm glad you made your peace. :)

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  14. Hi Michael,

    Happy 2015! What you had said is quite true. Writing for the market certainly does take the fun out of it.

    But this industry can be fun in it's rollercoasterish way. The highs are highs and the lows are... low, but thankfully we have a community of friends who are riding along with us. WE learn from their mistakes and hopefully they learn from ours. It's like this post every month. Something to join us together and to make us realize we are NOT alone in our journey and it doesn't just HAPPEN to us.

    Writing is like any other industry... publishers want to MAKE MONEY. But they sadly don't realize how much the written word touches ALL of us. In our hearts and souls. There is no price for that....

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  15. Yeah... I don't think that's necessarily narcissism. Not that you don't have your David Foster Wallaces out there and for whom it is narcissism. But I don;t think that's all authors or, even, most authors.

    Personally, I write because I'm good at it. And you could say that that is narcissism but, then, you have to call any acknowledgement of talent narcissism, and that's just ridiculous. What you get in response is false humility, and that's way worse than someone saying, "Yes, I am actually good at (x)."

    That said, I am completely with you on ignoring forecasts. The things that end up big are always unforeseen.

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  16. I'm a bit psychic. ;) But I have no idea what my future holds and I really don't want to know. I want it to be a surprise. And I don't write what's "in" either. I write what I want to write. ;) Thanks for visiting my blog! :)

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  17. A narcissus or just plain nuts...I'll take either or both. And maybe a heaping load of bitchiness as flavor. *GRIN*

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  18. You are so right about publishing being a business, and for me it's like the famous axiom about Hollywood: Nobody knows anything. If the best experts in the biggest traditional pub houses can't predict what will sell, how can we writers do it? Like you, I've learned to just enjoy what I'm writing and try to forget about the publishing angle. I've also learned the hard way not to ask nearly any of my relatives to read my stuff, and pretty much none of my friends. They can mean well, but I've also finally seen how I've imposed on them and should back off.

    So as you know, this year will for me be not about trying to get published but (much easier) instead get a good photo of Bigfoot.

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  19. I figured you'd see it that way.
    heh

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  20. Read all you wrote - but you got me at your header :) Sounds like my writing year-on-year :) x

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  21. This post reminded me of something. Years ago, before ebooks, I posted on a busy writer forum that self-publishing could work. I was shot down in a hurry. They made me feel like an idiot. I believed they must know what they're talking about because they seemed so much more experienced that me.

    Things sure have changed since then.

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  22. A glass-half-empty post! Way cool, speaks to my heart :)

    Gotta be a little narcissistic though, to even contemplate publishing a novel; gotta at least believe in yourself. But I know what you mean about writing for the current trend, it is ever changing. Better to produce a quality work and wait for the atmosphere to change. Money is good, but usually comes with dedication to your particular dream, not everyone else's whims.

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  23. You have to write what you love. Otherwise, what's the point?

    I guess there are those that are in it for the money only. I pity them. There's more to life.

    You're a great writer. Never try to fit in. We need you to be you. We need your stories, your viewpoint. Your perspective. Yes, we do!

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  24. Yeah, you can't chase trends. I started out that way and I've learned that I need to write what I want. I also learned to redesign my goals to things I have control over. I can control (to some extent) how much I write and when I release a new book. But I can't control how many books I'm going to sell. There are no guarantees, but I do believe that if I write more then I should get better and sell more books over time. The question is: how much time do I have? I'll try not to worry about that too much. haha. Hope you had a wonderful holidays. Happy New Year!

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  25. Anytime people have tried to predict anything about my life/writing they have always been totally wrong. I think part of the problem is many are too concerned about being nice than being honest. So, I now ignore the fortune tellers too. Except for fortune cookies, those things are always right--riiiight. ;)

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  26. I've never really chased them and sometimes have actually worried that I have fallen into them without meaning to and that people might think it was intentional. Lol I'm a weird and complex creature, but I agree we have to be true to ourselves and write what feels right. :) I really enjoyed your post thanks for sharing.

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  27. Thank you, thank you for this. Seriously. That last line about failure hit me at just the right time and the right way. The past six months have certainly given me opportunity to realize that failure isn't always a bad thing, especially with writing in regards to the rest of my life.

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