Monday, January 27, 2014

Dear New York Times Magazine, was your other option Hillary's face on a giant testicle?

I try not to get political on my blog. My regular readers know I'm a democrat and that's that. However, the New York Times Magazine (a publication that usually has great covers) just published the most shocking one I've ever seen, and Hillary Clinton looks absolutely terrible in it. Seriously, this whole theme of "Planet Hillary" is so ugly it makes me cringe every time I see it.
Click to EMBIGGEN
I take some validation that I'm not the only one that thinks this is terrible. I can't explain how anyone with any taste would take a look at this and think, "I'm going to print this as the cover for our magazine."

For one, it's incredibly unflattering extending the sides of her face in fleshy wrinkled overtones to make her resemble something straight out of Dr. Who (Cassandra anyone)?
Cassandra and Rose (one of the Doctor's companions). Cassandra in this
episode is the last human. They've managed to keep her alive through 800
surgeries, and she's basically stretched skin, veins, and needs to be misted
to prevent from drying out. She's also incredibly vain.
And two, the whole premise of it: that Hillary has got an irresistible pull likened to gravity and is somehow sufficient to bring stars into her orbit is absurd. Planets orbit stars, NOT the other way around. But even aside from scientific inaccuracies, the thing is a mess and is rightfully being ridiculed. 
Planet Hillary Spoof 1: Wrecking Ball ala Miley Cyrus
Planet Hillary Spoof 2: E.T.
Planet Hillary Spoof 3: Hillary as the Death Star
Planet Hillary Spoof 4: The Annoying Orange
What a train wreck. It makes me want to ask the editors of The New York Times Magazine, "What exactly were you thinking by publishing this? Was your other option a picture of her face on a giant testicle? Please don't answer that."

25 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

They could've made her a star and then she would've been a giant gaseous ball.

Rusty Carl said...

That is aesthetically gross, and I think is a case where someone wanted to run with a metaphor and has created the stupidest looking thing ever. Ugh.

Stephen Hayes said...

As someone who has designed and painted overs for newspapers and magazines I'll just say that I don't find this cover well-designed or appealing.

Pat Dilloway said...

It's hard to believe the New York Times used to be one of the classiest papers in America. Even if he doesn't own it I blame Rupert Murdoch.

Adam said...

I think she looks rather flattering as weather-ruined old baseball,

seriously what were they thinking?

Sarah Ahiers said...

WTF is that??? How could so many people think that that was a good idea?

Also, i love Cassandra in that Doctor Who episode. Classic

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I like some of your renditions better.

Susan Gourley/Kelley said...

I like some of your renditions better.

DEZMOND said...

Hilary is pure demonic ebil, that she is! Can't even number the people she and her ebil husband and their Albright court jester killed in my country.

Michael Di Gesu said...

UGG! SOOO stupid. What a waste of TIME... in every aspect of the word!

Theresa Milstein said...

I don't know why she doesn't get respect. Probably because she's a woman. It's sickening.

Suz Korb said...

Even the professionals get it wrong. And they say self-published book covers are bad. LMAO.

mooderino said...

Wait till she's up for President, then the knives will really come out.

Spacerguy said...

Its a tough job but somebody has to do it.

J.L. Campbell said...

Gotta agree with you, that is a very unflattering picture.

mshatch said...

Loved your comparison - poor Hilary, I'd want to go into hiding.

Cindy said...

They could've at least given her some hair.

Clarissa Draper said...

That's the first time I've seen the photo but you're totally right, it's hideous and shouldn't have been printed.

Liz A. said...

Yikes. That's... Yikes.

Helena said...

Proof that even the august, solemn editors of the NY Times can royally screw up once in a while. They couldn't think of a better analogy than a planet?

Lady Lilith said...

Oh my. What was the New Yorker thinking. I usually love their covers.

Mark Koopmans said...

I'm still laughing at Alex's comments :)

Not a very pretty cover - that's all I shall say :)

Callie Leuck said...

Michael,

I really liked this one. I know what you mean... SHEESH!

David P. King said...

Not sure I'll be able to picture Hillary the same way again! :)

Sheena-kay Graham said...

When they say common sense is not so common...this is more than a perfect example.