Friday, May 6, 2011

An Open Letter To Mom

Dear Mom,

When I was a kid I did something that I still feel bad about today. I know, I'm truly the best one of your kids and am perfect and all that. But seriously, there was this ONE TIME. It's like a black mark on my otherwise spotless record. So, as it's that SPECIAL DAY again, I need to seriously come clear. Like...seriously. So here it is. My confession. One day while you were hard at work at the cake factory  I spied your purse. I knew you were busy.
I looked inside and discovered a $20.00 bill on top. OMG...I thought to myself. This isn't frickin' Monopoly money! I could buy great things with $20.00 like fireworks, raspberry-jelly flavor filled Hostess doughnuts! Tiny collectible rubber band animals because all the cool kids had those! I felt a little like this:
Or maybe more like this. Like, OMG, holy crap, this is $20 frickin' dollars lolamazing...
So I took the money. I was dumb though and the tattle-tell other spawn of yours saw me. I tried to convince her of this:
She blackmailed me into doing all kinds of things or I'd get into trouble. That's what siblings are for, right? But I gotta hand it to her. She really knew how to work it. I was out of my league. :(
So I hid the money away. I figured with no proof...no doughnut crumb trail...no blown fireworks...that I was safe. But ya know, there was a part of me that felt a little bit guilty.  But I had A.D.D. so that didn't last. Rather, I just forgot about it.
I didn't want to forget. I just did. Maybe it was a sign that I'd be forgetting things as I got older. Like important locker combinations at the gym that I've gone to a thousand times and then suddenly I had to have the lock cut off because my brain was occupied with the last episode of the Jersey Shore. You know...important stuff like tanning and pickles!
Yesterday, I went through a box of old toys and found that money hidden in a pencil box along with my spongebob squarepants collectibles. I totally had an episode like this.
It was kinda like Christmas only less spectacular like Hannukkah only for the non-Jewish I guess?. I felt sorry. Like OMG KURT sorry.
But it gave me this great, absolutely fantabulous idea for Mother's Day that all kids want to ask. I just hope you don't have a reaction like this:
So here it is...

CAN I BORROW ANOTHER TWENTY DOLLARS?

Hee hee have a Happy Mother's Day weekend!

16 comments:

  1. LOL. My little brother used to steal money out of my mum's wallet all the time - but it was usually just $2 coins and stuff (they are gold and shiny, wow!).

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  2. LOL - and the videos are great!

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  3. LOL nicely played. :-D Did you get the $20?

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  4. Your mom reads your blog? Mine can't even turn on a computer, so I can spread all kinds of vicious gossip about her, bwahahahahahahaha!

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  5. *gigglesnort* Oh this was fabulous! True confessions on yourself are always nice, and brilliant presentation...

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  6. Lol, any big plans for that $20?

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  7. Ha ha. That Kurt gif is priceless.

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  8. LOL love it, especially the penguins :)

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  9. LOL. And great gifs to go with the story!

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  10. I think that your Mom will enjoy this video and not take your confession seriously.
    Happy Mother's Day to your Mom:)

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  11. I am sure your Mom finds this blog to be funny and I don't think she will take it seriously ( I mean the stealing part). The way you connected the videos is very clever and funny. She definatley will appreciate your film making.

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  12. Funny videos....I hope you get your mother something nice with the money you borrow from her!

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  13. If I were you, I wouldn't say a word. :D

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  14. Funny. Some of those gifs are mesmerizing.

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  15. hehehehehe. This was fabulous.

    .....dhole

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  16. HA! That was great! Hilarious. Love the pics too - especially the Spongebob one.

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