- Any plan that causes the DM to ask, "Are you sure you want to do that?" should be rethought immediately.
- Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- You can't succeed at anything unless you roll the dice.
- Never ever throw a fireball in a closed room.
- Never be the first person to touch an unknown substance.
- Hitting on the King's daughter is never a good idea.
- If you spend enough time in sleazy bars talking to shady characters, adventure will find you.
- Always have an exit strategy.
- Siege artillery doesn't discriminate.
- Never use a weapon that's braver than you are.
- If the DM is smiling, it's already too late.
- Never ever give the Dungeon Master ideas.
- If something looks too good to be true, check for traps at once.
- Never summon anything that you don't know how to dismiss.
- Treat your hirelings well; they're the ones carrying all of your loot.
- If all else fails, bribe the DM with pizza.
Never ever be without a Wall of Iron. You can drop it on someone and they go splat.
There you have it and Happy Wednesday.
*DISCLAIMER: If you don't get the above stuff then you are not nearly nerdy enough and should go and buy a Player's Handbook and Dungeon Master's Guide and hang out with some young men in a game store. You'll find that they're very imaginative as they dream of a day when they can have a +5 Holy Avenger!